Artemis Hospital Near Appu Ghar: Delhi's BEST Townhouse?
Artemis Hospital Near Appu Ghar: Delhi's BEST Townhouse?
Artemis Hospital Near Appu Ghar: Delhi's "Best" Townhouse? – A Review That Didn't Go Exactly How I Planned
Alright, folks, brace yourselves. I’ve just spent a week “reviewing” (and I use that term loosely) the – ahem – prestigious Artemis Hospital Townhouse, conveniently located near the now-defunct Appu Ghar. Let’s just say it wasn't all smooth sailing, and if you're looking for a perfectly polished brochure, you've come to the wrong place. This is my unfiltered, messy, and probably slightly-too-honest take.
First Impression: The "Accessibility" Conundrum
Reaching Artemis? That's the first test. Getting there was a nightmare, Google maps tried to send me through a construction site that looked more like a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Eventually, I stumbled upon the place, and well, things started to feel… complicated. Let's delve into "Accessibility".
- Accessibility, (or rather, the illusion of it): They claim to have facilities for disabled guests. Fine. But getting to any of those facilities involved navigating a maze of uneven pavements and what felt like a deliberate attempt to see if my car could endure the worst potholes in Delhi. My heart really went out to anyone in a wheelchair – it's basically a brutal obstacle course.
- On-site accessible restaurants / lounges: Didn't see them specifically. The main dining area, however, felt accessible, but I have to admit, my focus was elsewhere.
- Wheelchair accessible: Potentially, but pray you've got a fantastic set of tires.
The Internet Age: Wi-Fi Woes and LAN Lamentations
Okay, so, modern survival hinges on Wi-Fi, right? And Artemis claims "Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!" (and indeed, Internet access, Internet [LAN], and Internet services). Great! Except… it's the type of Wi-Fi that makes you question the very fabric of reality.
- Wi-Fi in all rooms: Spotty. Dropped connections. Enough to make you crave the days of dial-up. I was forced to use my own hotspot to get anything done (major inconvenience).
- Internet [LAN]: I believe there’s a LAN port in the room. I didn't try it. My sanity was hanging by a thread, and I wasn't about to dive into that rabbit hole.
- Wi-Fi in public areas: Better, but not by much. The lobby felt like a digital desert.
Things to Do and Ways to "Relax": A Hilarious Farce
The "Spa/sauna" and "Fitness center" promise a world of relaxation, but the reality was… well, let me tell you.
- The Spa: The 'Spa' – well, let's just say I didn't actually see it. I'm now of the opinion that "spa" is merely a code-word for "a place where you can pay to be disappointed." The idea of a spa after the chaotic commute? The perfect recipe for a mental breakdown.
- Fitness Center (AKA "the Gym/fitness"): Tiny. Equipment looked like it had seen better days in the late 90s. Half the machines were out of order. The air conditioning sounded like a Boeing 747 revving up for takeoff. I attempted using the treadmill, and had to stop after 8 minutes, because I was pretty sure my heart was trying to escape my chest.
- Pool with view, Swimming pool [outdoor]: The pool, thankfully, was nice, and well-maintained, BUT it was right next to a busy road. Not exactly a tranquil experience, with the constant honking and traffic noise, a constant reminder of Delhi's unrelenting chaos.
Cleanliness and Safety: The Vigilance
Here’s where Artemis actually delivered (mostly!).
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hygiene certification, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Rooms sanitized between stays, Staff trained in safety protocol: Yep, they seem to be taking the whole "COVID-19" thing seriously. Hand sanitizers everywhere, and the staff, bless their hearts, were masked and generally hyper-vigilant about hygiene. (I was starting to feel paranoid by the end!)
- Room sanitization opt-out available: Yes, you can opt out. I did not opt-out!
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: A Mixed Bag of Wonders
Food. The great equalizer. Here's where Artemis swung wildly between "surprisingly good" and "questionable."
- Restaurants, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Asian cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant: Okay, the multiple restaurants offered quite a few options. The Asian cuisine was surprisingly decent, the International cuisine? A little underwhelming but, I came, I ate, I survived.
- Breakfast [buffet], Asian breakfast, Western breakfast: Breakfast was…a buffet. The options were decent (yes, the pastries were a little stale), and the staff was very attentive. I did indeed fill my plate (twice) and made a valiant attempt at sampling all the fruits.
- Room service [24-hour]: A lifesaver. Especially when I wanted to avoid having to leave my room. The food was decent, and sometimes that's all that matters.
Services and Conveniences: A Glimpse of Glory
- Air conditioning in public area, Daily housekeeping, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Concierge, etc.: All the basics were covered, and the staff was generally friendly and helpful.
- Concierge: I asked them to arrange a car, they did. Good for them.
For the Kids: I was too scared to find out
- Family/child friendly: I really don't know. I didn’t see many kids. I wasn't exactly looking for kids.
Available in all rooms: Standard, mostly
- Air conditioning, Hair dryer, Free bottled water, Wi-Fi [free], etc.: The basics were all there. The water was actually very welcome, and the AC worked (praise the gods).
Final Verdict? A Flawed Gem.
Look, Artemis Hospital Townhouse, "near Appu Ghar," isn’t perfect. Far from it. But, here's the thing: despite the Wi-Fi woes, the dodgy gym, and the neverending Delhi traffic, it's got a certain… charm. The staff, despite the overwhelming conditions, tried their best. The food was occasionally delicious. The pool was lovely.
Would I recommend it?
Probably, if you have a high tolerance for imperfection and a low expectation of serenity. If you’re looking for a truly relaxing getaway, maybe look elsewhere. But if you need a place to stay in that area, on a budget, and you want to embrace the quirky, the less-than-perfect, the gloriously flawed essence of Delhi? Then Artemis might just grow on you.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars (with potential for improvement, especially the Internet)
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Escape to Paradise: Alghero's Secret Bonsai B&B Awaits!Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because we're embarking on a journey. Not a glamorous one, mind you. We're talking a very specific, hyper-local, deeply flawed, and utterly Delhi-esque adventure: A Day (Or Part of a Day) in the Life within Spitting Distance of Super Townhouse Artemis Hospital, New Delhi and NCR, India. Prepare for whiplash.
The Itinerary: (A Loose Approximation)
(8:00 AM) - The Morning After the Night Before (Or, The Day Before That, Honestly):
Okay, let's be real. I'm already behind schedule. The blasted phone alarm (set for a reasonable 7:00 AM) got drowned out by the symphony of honking, chai-wallahs, and the incessant chirping of some rogue bird that clearly doesn't respect sleep. My brain feels like a bowl of soggy pakoras from last night. Head throbbing. Needs… coffee. Desperately.
Why I'm Here (And Why I'm Probably Regretting It):
I’m “visiting,” which is code for “I’m the one who always gets roped into things.” My Auntie Shanti, bless her heart, is having some… tests at Artemis Hospital. Nothing too serious, they say. But the thought of a hospital makes me queasy. Which is why I'm especially unprepared for the morning, I'm a mess.
(8:30 AM) - The Breakfast Debacle (Featuring a Side of Existential Dread):
The plan was to grab a quick aloo paratha at that little stall near the hospital gate. Famous for their… well, everything. But, the queue. OH MY GOD, the queue! It snakes down the road like a sleepy python. Five people are waiting, and I'm already losing it. The air is thick with the aroma of frying spices and the general, unshakeable feeling that the day is already spiraling out of control.
Food Fight: (Not Literally, Though I'm Tempted)
Sigh. I give up on the paratha. Back to the dabba (lunchbox) of stale roti I packed last night, or the instant noodles from earlier. Honestly, I'm already considering a dosa for breakfast… in any case.
(9:00 AM) - Artemis Hospital: The Labyrinth:
Finally inside. Artemis. It looks… expensive. Spotlessly clean. A stark contrast to the chaotic beauty of Delhi outside. Every surface gleams. Every staff member looks perfectly pressed and polished. I feel like I've wandered into a different dimension, or maybe just a particularly well-funded spa.
Anecdote Time: (The Lost Patient)
Okay, so I'm trying to find Auntie Shanti's room. The corridors. The identical rooms. The sheer scale of the place. It's a maze! I swear, I saw the same potted plant three times. Then, I bumped into a lady, clutching a medical file. I think she was crying. Or maybe she was just exasperated like me.
(9:45 AM) - Auntie Shanti and the Cha-cha Conversation:
Finally. Found her. Auntie Shanti is sitting up in bed, cheerfully bossing around the nurses and demanding more tea be like a queen. Bless her. And of course, the instant I walk in, the interrogation begins: "Oh, beta, have you eaten? You look thin. Are you getting enough sleep? Why are you wearing that? What does your future hold?" It’s like a rapid-fire chat and, in a way, a reminder of the love a family.
(10:30 AM) - The Coffee Quest (A Journey of Hope):
I need caffeine. Deciding to brave the 'in-house' coffee shop. My expectations are low. Very low. The place is staffed with people who look as though they are about to get replaced by robots, this day.
The Coffee Shop Experience:
The coffee? Acceptable. Bordering on good. They even had a croissant! A small victory in this madhouse. I grab a bench and watch the world go by. People are walking around.
(11:15 AM) - The Observation Deck (Also Known as the Hospital Waiting Area):
Back in the waiting area. The air thick with the aroma of disinfectant and silent prayers. People are sitting, looking tired, worried, or just plain bored. The TV is blaring some Bollywood soap opera that's probably about a woman who’s accidentally sold her baby for a plate of samosas.
A Moment of Reflection:
I feel a pang of sadness. The air here is heavy with health crises and people supporting each other. It reminds me that life is fleeting, chaotic, and wonderful.
(12:00 PM) - (Maybe) Lunch and Escape (Or More Hospital Time):
It's lunchtime. Do I grab some samosas at the nearby market? Or maybe a burger? The options are overwhelming. Or does Auntie Shanti need me?
(12:45 PM) - The Great Escape (Maybe):
I manage to sneak out of the hospital… for a brief time.
The Outside World: A Breath of Fresh Air
The chaos of Delhi immediately hits me in the face. The heat, the noise, the smells… it's all a sensory overload after the sterile coolness of Artemis. I stop at a roadside stall and grab a nimbu pani (lemonade). A woman stops and asks me about the hospital. Apparently, her husband is there. I wish her well, and she smiles back.
(1:30 PM) - The Appu Ghar Disaster?
Okay. The entire trip is based around the Appu Ghar's existence. But it's closed now… not even open. I've always wanted to know! This is the most ridiculous and upsetting part of my trip, truly. It's been a while since its opened, right? Never mind.
(2:00 PM) - Back to the Hospital (Sigh):
Back to the hospital. I’m tired, and a bit cranky.
(2:30 PM) - Auntie Shanti's Verdict (And the Truth of It All):
Auntie Shanti’s tests were successful and is doing well. She starts to get better, the doctors are good.
(3:00 PM) - Home (Finally):
I head back toward and I realized… I don't know what happened. What’s happened. It's all a blur of hospitals, and food, and coffee. I don't know. I’m exhausted. I will make sure to sleep better, and also try not to be so tired!
Closing Thoughts:
This day wasn't perfect. There were queues, wrong turns and probably a few moments of sheer, unadulterated panic. But it also had moments of warmth. Moments of family. Moments of a slightly passable cup of coffee. And that, my friends, is what makes Delhi… Delhi. And maybe, just maybe, worth it all. At least, until the next time Auntie Shanti needs a check-up.
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Is Artemis Hospital Near Appu Ghar Really Convenient? I've heard traffic in Delhi is... a thing.
Oh honey, "convenient" in Delhi is a relative term. Let's just say, if your idea of a quick trip involves teleportation, then yes. Otherwise... prepare yourself. Artemis is theoretically "near" Appu Ghar, which, let's be honest, is now... well, a memory! (RIP, good times). But "near" in Gurgaon-speak can mean anything from a comfy 15-minute drive in the dead of night to a soul-crushing, horn-blaring, two-hour odyssey during peak traffic. I once spent *three hours* just inching towards Artemis after a minor fender bender. And I wasn't even the one hurt! My advice? Factor in LOTS of extra time. Like, bring a book, download a podcast, maybe pack a picnic. Actually, scratch that, you’ll be hungry. Pack snacks!
Okay, But Is Artemis Good? Like, *really* good? I need a doctor, not a fashion show.
Alright, let's be brutally honest. Artemis is... a mixed bag. I've heard everything from "life-saving miracles" to "pricey disappointment." My own experience? Well, it's complicated. I went there for a... *ahem*... a "minor" issue once. (Okay, it was a bit more dramatic than minor, but I'm trying to be vague here!). The doctors were top-notch, super professional, explained everything clearly. The nurses? Bless their hearts, some were angels, others... well, let's just say my IV drip was a bit of a rollercoaster. One time, I swear, she was chatting on the phone while trying to find a vein! I'm still not sure if I survived because of her skills or just pure luck. But hey, that's life, right? Just, you know, keep an eye on those needles. And the billing... Ugh. Prepare for sticker shock.
What About the Amenities? Are There Decent Cafes or Anything to Kill Time? Long waits worry me!
Amenities? Oh, they have a cafe. It's... okay. Think hospital-grade coffee, microwaved sandwiches, and the general feeling of existential dread that only a hospital cafeteria can provide. Don't expect gourmet. Think *survival food*. They also have a pharmacy, which is pretty standard (and convenient, I guess). The real highlight? The waiting room! Kidding! It's just a sea of worried faces and bored family members. Bring your own entertainment. Seriously. A book, a tablet, a deck of cards, whatever keeps you sane. Because, trust me, you’ll need it. I once saw a woman knitting a whole goddamn sweater in the nephrology waiting room. Now *that* is dedication. I just stared at the ceiling tiles for an hour.
Is it Expensive? Like, "sell-a-kidney-on-the-black-market" expensive?
Okay, let's get to the nitty-gritty: Artemis is *not* cheap. It's definitely in the "premium" category. Expect to pay a premium price for the "premium" experience. Whether that premium experience is worth it? That's entirely up to you, your insurance, and your tolerance for financial stress. I once had a flu, and my bill could have probably doubled as a small down payment on a new car. It's… something. If you have good insurance, great. If not… start saving. And maybe consider a second job.
What About Parking? I've heard Gurgaon parking can be a nightmare.
Parking. Ah, parking. The perennial Delhi/Gurgaon struggle. Artemis has parking, yes. But finding a spot can be a competitive sport. It's like a post-apocalyptic Hunger Games, but instead of weapons, everyone's armed with their car horns and a desperate need for a place to leave their vehicle. Seriously, take a deep breath, channel your inner zen master, and prepare to circle the parking lot a few times. Or, even better, consider getting dropped off. If you get dropped off, then you are the genius. If you are the one doing the dropping off you're the one who's gotta contend with it, and...well, good luck.
Okay, Let's Say I Need to Stay Overnight. What's the Vibe like? Is It Like a Swanky Hotel or More, You Know, Hospital-y?
Overnight stay...Alright, so imagine this, It's still a hospital, not a spa, so don't expect rose petals on the bed and a butler offering you room service. The rooms are... functional. They're clean, they have the necessary equipment, and hopefully, your window view isn't of a brick wall (mine was once). The food is probably not going to knock your socks off. Okay, let's be honest, it definitely WON'T knock your socks off. They're designed for easy digestion more than culinary delight. But they do have TVs, which can be a lifesaver during those long sleepless nights. Bring your own pillows. Seriously. And noise-canceling headphones. You'll thank me later. And don't forget the sanitizer. Actually, bring a whole suitcase of sanitizer. Just to be sure.
What About Visiting Hours? Can My Relatives Camp Out All Day? (Because, you know, Indian families...)
Visiting hours... Ah, yes. The great Indian family invasion. Artemis does have visiting hours, but, let's just say, they're *flexible*. You know what I mean. Expect a steady stream of relatives – aunties, uncles, cousins, the entire extended family – all wanting to check on you and offer unsolicited advice. It can be... overwhelming. Honestly. (And probably against infection control guidelines but hey, who's counting?). My advice? Set clear boundaries. Tell your family, in the sweetest, most guilt-tripping way possible, to keep visiting hours to a minimum. And maybe hide under the covers occasionally. I'm not judging. I've been there. And I feel your pain.
Is There Anything Else I Should Know Before Going to Artemis? Some Hidden Truths?
Hidden truths? Okay, buckle up. First: Patience is a virtue. You'll need it. Second: Always ask for a detailed breakdown of your bill *before* you pay. They say they can't give it to you? Push back. Loudly. (Nicely, of course...but firmly!). Third: Pack everything you think you *might* need. Seriously. A phone charger, yourLuxury Redefined: Your Dream Chennai Stay Awaits at Simsan Hotel
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