Escape to Paradise: Bedfordview's BEST B&B (Johannesburg)
Escape to Paradise: Bedfordview's BEST B&B (Johannesburg)
Escape to Paradise: Bedfordview's Best? My Brain's Still Recovering (A Johannesburg B&B Review)
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to unleash a review of Escape to Paradise in Bedfordview, Johannesburg, that's less "polished travel writing" and more "brain-dump after a week of luxury." This place… it’s a lot. So, let's wade in, shall we?
(SEO & Metadata - See the end for the nitty gritty, I'm more of a "feel" person, alright?)
First off, the name… "Escape to Paradise"? Bold. Really bold. Does it live up to the hype? Well, that depends on your brand of paradise. I was hoping for something with less…corporate-retreat-meets-spa-day vibes and more… jungle juice and impromptu karaoke. But hey, you can't always get what you want, right?
Accessibility: (Important - and a little disappointing)
Okay, let's get the serious stuff out the way first. Accessibility is a mixed bag. They do list "Facilities for disabled guests," which is a good start. But the website doesn't go into real detail, so, sadly, I can't give a strong recommendation here. I need to know the specifics, people! Ramps? Elevators? Clear, detailed info is essential! If you have accessibility needs, contact them directly and VERY specifically BEFORE booking. Don't take chances, especially if mobility issues are a concern.
On-site Accessible Restaurants / Lounges: Again…Needs MORE info. This is a massive oversight on their part. Accessibility is so important!
Wheelchair Accessible: See above. I need proof, not promises.
Internet Access: Hallelujah! Free Wi-Fi in ALL rooms! That's a serious win in my book. I survived, even though in the chaos of all those rooms and events and options, well, it did have its moments where it stuttered…
Internet [LAN]: Available, but who needs that? We're living in the age of WiFi, people!
Internet Services/ Wi-Fi in Public Areas: Good, but not exceptional. Worked fine, but not like…rocket ship fast, you know? But seriously, free wifi in public is the minimum, so it's nice it's there.
Things to Do, Ways to Relax: Oh Boy… Where Do I Start?
Okay, here’s where things get… overwhelming. Consider this my (slightly panicked) stream-of-consciousness:
- Pool with a View: Yes! Lovely, but the view didn't make me forget the endless to-do list I seem to have.
- Swimming Pool [Outdoor]: Yup. Pretty standard.
- Spa/Sauna, Steamroom, Body Scrub, Body Wrap, Massage: Oh man, the spa area. It's… intense. The brochure said "serenity." I experienced "controlled relaxation." The massage was good… good enough that I almost forgot I'd mismanaged my time and the meeting I was late for was really, really important. The body scrub? Blissful. The steamroom? A bit too… sterile? And the music? It looped. Over and over. I swear, I can still hear those whale song sound effects in my sleep. Maybe that is my escape.
- Fitness Center/Gym/Fitness: Honestly, I peeked in the gym, but the thought of working out when I could be contemplating my life choices in the sauna just wasn’t appealing.
- Foot Bath: Didn't try it. Too much… water? Too much… commitment? I’m not sure.
Cleanliness and Safety: They Seem Serious About This
Okay, this is where Escape to Paradise really shines, and I loved it. They are taking this whole pandemic thing seriously. I felt SO safe.
- Anti-viral Cleaning Products: Good.
- Daily Disinfection in Common Areas: Excellent. Almost TOO good.
- Hand Sanitizer: Everywhere. I'm sure my hands are now 99.9% germ-free.
- Hot water linen and laundry washing. This is a must!
- Hygiene Certification / Professional-grade sanitizing services: Good to know!
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Necessary.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: Reassuring.
- Sterilizing equipment: Okay, maybe a little overkill, but hey, I appreciate the paranoia.
- Cashless payment service: Handy.
- Contactless check-in/out: So great!
- Room sanitization opt-out available: They’re even on the right side of people's sensitivities!
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: A Culinary Avalanche!
Alright, prepare yourself. This section is a rollercoaster.
- Breakfast [Buffet]: The buffet was…extensive. Too extensive, perhaps? So many choices! I’m a simple girl. I just need a slice of toast and a strong cup of coffee. The buffet was a smorgasbord of… everything. From Asian breakfast options to Western cuisine offerings, it was all a bit… much. I ended up just eating a croissant and staring blankly at the endless rows of food for the first 10 minutes.
- Breakfast in room: Nice touch for sure!
- Breakfast takeaway service: Handy for running late
- A la carte in restaurant: I prefer this, it's less food waste.
- Alternative meal arrangement: I bet this is their way of cutting down on food waste, which is great honestly.
- Asian breakfast/Asian Cuisine in restaurant: Yep. Present and accounted for.
- Restaurants, coffee shop/Poolside bar/Snack bar/Desserts in restaurant: I had some cake… it was good.
- Bar/Happy hour: I'm in! They had happy hour! Score.
- Bottle of water: Essential for survival.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant: Phew. This is a must.
- International cuisine in restaurant: Okay.
- Room service [24-hour]: Excellent!
- Salad/Soup in restaurant: Healthy options are always welcome.
- Vegetarian restaurant: Bonus points!
Services and Conveniences: The Usual Suspects (and Some Surprises)
- Air conditioning in public area: Needed.
- Audio-visual equipment for special events: See, I told ya, corporate-retreat-meets-spa!
- Business facilities/Meeting/banquet facilities: They cater to events. This is a place for business people.
- Cash withdrawal/Currency exchange: Useful.
- Concierge: Helpful.
- Convenience store/Gift/souvenir shop: They have the essentials.
- Daily housekeeping: Solid
- Doorman: Ok.
- Dry cleaning/Ironing service/Laundry service: Useful.
- Elevator: Essential.
- Essential condiments/Food delivery: Ok.
- Facilities for disabled guests: Hopefully they're good. (See above).
- Invoice provided: Cool.
- Luggage storage: Needed.
- Outdoor venue for special events/indoor venue for special events/On-site event hosting/Seminars: Yikes! Again with the corporate vibes.
- Projector/LED display/Meeting stationery: The corporate theme continues!
- Safety deposit boxes: Good.
- Smoking area: Thanks.
- Terrace: Nice.
- Xerox/fax in business center: Wow.
For the Kids: A Mixed Bag
- Babysitting service: Good.
- Family/child friendly, Kids facilities/Kids meal: Okay.
Access: Everything is pretty easy
- Check-in/out [express]: I did this and it helped.
- Check-in/out [private]: Sounds nice.
- Couple's room: Romantic.
- Exterior corridor: Ok.
- Fire extinguisher/Smoke alarms/Safety/security feature: Good and essential.
- Front desk [24-hour]/Security [24-hour]: Good.
- Hotel chain: Ok.
- Non-smoking rooms: Needed.
- Proposal spot: Sure.
- Room decorations: Fine.
- Soundproof rooms: Very good.
Getting Around:
- Airport transfer: Convenient.
- Bicycle parking/Car park [free of charge]/Car park [on-site] / Car power charging station: Great!
- Taxi service/Valet parking: Useful.
Available In All Rooms: The Essentials
- **Additional toilet/Air conditioning/Alarm clock/Bathrobes/Bathtub/Blackout curtains/Carpeting/Closet
Alright, buckle up, buttercups! This ain't your sanitized, perfectly-planned travelogue. This is me, a caffeine-fueled human, trying to navigate Bedfordview, Johannesburg, and probably screwing it up in the most delightful way possible. Here we go, the absolutely unreliable Bedfordview B&B Adventure (with a heavy dose of "winging it"):
Day 1: Arrival and Existential Dread (and Possibly, a Good Coffee)
- Morning (or what passes for morning after a transatlantic flight): LAND! Oh, the glorious hellscape of OR Tambo. Immigration? A blurry memory of a stern face and the distinct feeling of being judged for my passport photo. Luggage? Miraculously survived, despite looking like it fought a wildebeest and lost. Taxi from the airport to Bedfordview… let's call it 'chaotic good'. The driver, bless his heart, kept chatting to his phone, navigating a sea of other vehicles, and simultaneously trying to educate me on the history of South African rugby. I understood maybe 20% of it, but the enthusiasm was infectious.
- Late Morning (or, the search for caffeine): Arrived at "The Cozy Nest B&B" in Bedfordview. Cozy, yes. Nest-like, perhaps. The proprietor, a lovely woman named Brenda, greeted me with a hug and a "You look knackered, darling!" Validation! And then the coffee. Oh, the coffee. Surprisingly good, actually. Strong enough to jolt me back to life, or at least postpone the impending jet lag apocalypse.
- Afternoon (or, the "unpack and panic slightly" phase): Unpacked. Briefly considered repacking everything and fleeing. The room is cozy, in a slightly aggressively floral way. Suddenly hit with a wave of existential dread. I am alone in a foreign country. What am I doing? Then remembered I was supposed to be having fun. Decided to embrace the chaos. Wandered around the neighborhood, feeling like a Martian. Bedfordview is… well, it's suburban. The houses are enormous. The gardens? Impeccable. I don't think I've ever seen a lawn so green. This is a far cry from my usual messy city adventures!
- Evening (or, the "dinner and desperate attempt to stay awake" phase): Took Brenda's advice and went to a restaurant called "The Braai Room" (a must-experience for anyone who travels to South Africa). Tried the boerewors (sausage). Actually, all the food. It was meaty, spicy, and utterly delicious. The conversations around me were a cacophony of Afrikaans and English (with a healthy dose of what I think might have been slang). The people were friendly. The wine flowed. By 9 pm, I was fighting a losing battle with my eyelids. Back to the Cozy Nest. Slept like the dead. Or at least, I wished I slept like the dead.
Day 2: Parks, Shopping, and a Tiny Tragedy
- Morning (or, the battle against the lingering effects of jet lag and sausage): The sun! The sky! The sheer, unadulterated brightness of South Africa! Brenda's breakfast was a feast. Eggs, bacon, toast, fruit, and a fresh cup of that magical coffee. Decided to be a responsible tourist and visit Gillooly's Farm. Nature! Relaxation! Birds chirping!
- Late Morning (or, the Parks): Gillooly's Farm. Beautiful, really. Except, I swear, the ducks were judging me. They eyed me with an unsettling level of disdain while I tried to take pictures. Found a bench, sat down, and actually felt a moment of peace. Until I realized I'd sat directly below a pigeon's favourite perch. Nature's revenge is swift, and it is messy.
- Afternoon (or, the "shopping mall labyrinth" phase): Drove to Eastgate Shopping Centre. This is where the trip went from "charming" to "holy moly, this is big." It's a proper sprawling, modern shopping mall. I took a wrong turn and spent a solid hour lost, wandering through stores I didn't understand. Found a great hat, though. Small victories.
- Late Afternoon (or, the miniature tragedy): Back at the B&B, I decided that I should explore my neighborhood on foot. A very short walk. A truly tragic event took place. I was casually enjoying the scenery when I saw a cute little kitten. Naturally I was drawn to it and crouched down to pet it. Then out of nowhere, a big dog came tearing down the street. I screamed as I frantically attempted to protect the kitten and dove to embrace it. I failed. The dog knocked me over, I landed awkwardly on the ground twisting a knee while trying to ensure the kitten's safety. I was upset and in a bit of pain, but happy to see the kitten was safe and unharmed.
- Evening (or, the "comfort food and a bruised knee" phase): Ordered take-out, ate it on the sofa, and binge-watched something utterly trashy on my laptop. Aching knee… a small price to pay for one cat's life.
Day 3: Exploring the Heart of the City and Discovering a Hidden Gem
- Morning (or, the "brace yourself for Johannesburg" phase): Today, I braved the beast: Johannesburg proper. Brenda recommended that I use uber and not drive. I took her advice, and it was a good decision.
- Late Morning (or, the "A Trip to Maboneng Precinct" phase): Maboneng Precinct. Urban, vibrant, and utterly electrifying. Street art explodes with color. The air hummed with energy, the rhythm of music, and the scent of spices wafted from food stalls. I ate a bunny chow (a true South African experience!). It was messy… it was spicy… and it was amazing. This is the Johannesburg I'd been craving. I bought some art, chatted with a passionate street artist, and generally basked in the raw, untamed creativity of the place.
- Afternoon (or, the "panic buying and secret gardens" phase): I got a little carried away. The stores were so cool. I bought a ridiculous outfit. I might regret it later. I'm not sure.
- Late Afternoon (or, the "back to the B&B, but with a surprise" phase): Back to the Cozy Nest. Brenda (bless her heart) was concerned about my knee. She'd also heard about Maboneng and was intrigued. She offered to make me a cup of tea. She also made a phone call and secured us admission to the nearby Secret Garden. It was a truly exquisite place. Not the sort of place I'd normally wander to, but perfect for a knee that was still a bit sore.
- Evening (or, the "reflection and relaxation" phase): Back at the Cozy Nest. I spent the rest of the night drinking tea, sorting my photos, and contemplating the sheer, chaotic beauty of this trip. I knew that the journey would have it's ups and downs, but it was time to rest. To be grateful.
Day 4: Saying Goodbye (for now)
- Morning (or, the "last breakfast of champions" phase): The end is in sight. Breakfast was a sad affair, knowing it was the last of Brenda's amazing cooking.
- Afternoon (or, "Leaving with a heavy heart and a lot of memories") : The ride to the airport was filled with a mixture of excitement and dread. I was eager to return home, but also knew I'd miss the pace of my adventures. I was a little sore from the mishap with the cat, but I felt full. My trip had been less polished, much more messy, but it was also more real. I was ready… I think!
So, there you have it. My Bedfordview B&B adventure. A mess. A triumph. A reminder that travel, at its best, is about embracing the chaos, the surprises, and the moments that make you laugh, cry, and question your sanity all at the same time. Would I recommend it? Absolutely. Just be prepared for the unexpected. Especially the pigeons. They're plotting something, I tell you.
Escape to Paradise: Napoli Belmar Resort Awaits in Fort Lauderdale!
Okay, "Escape to Paradise"... Seriously? Is it actually paradise? Like, palm trees, monkeys, and bottomless margaritas paradise?
Alright, settle down, Margarita Man. Let's be realistic. Bedfordview, while lovely, isn’t exactly the Maldives. No monkeys, unless the neighbor's escaped marmoset counts. The Paradise part? Well, it's subjective, isn't it? Honestly, after a brutal week at the office (let's just say spreadsheets were involved, and the stress was *real*), stumbling into Escape to Paradise felt... close. More "calm suburban oasis with a bloody good breakfast" paradise, if you catch my drift. Think lush, well-manicured gardens, the chirping of birds instead of the roar of traffic, and a feeling of "Ahhhh, I can breathe again." Definitely beats spreadsheets, and that's a win in my book. And the margaritas? You'll have to BYO. But hey, the *vibe* is there.
What's the room situation like? Are we talking cramped, dusty, and smelling vaguely of mothballs? Because I've been there, and it's not pretty.
Oh, honey, I *feel* you. Mothballs are my nemesis. But fear not! The rooms at Escape to Paradise? Absolutely not mothbally. They're spotlessly clean, spacious, and decorated with a kind of elegant simplicity. I stayed in the Garden Suite, and it was legitimately bigger than my first apartment. Actually, it might *still* be bigger! The bed? Cloud-like. I swear, I slept for a solid nine hours the first night. Nine hours! Unheard of. There *were* a few tiny imperfections. Like, a slight flickering in the bedside lamp, but honestly? It added a certain, almost romantic, noir feel. (Or maybe I was just exhausted. Semantics.) The bathroom? Modern, with a proper shower (not one of those pathetic dribbles you get at some places). My only gripe? A slightly stubborn drain. Minor inconveniences on paradise, though.
Breakfast... the make-or-break moment for any B&B. Tell me everything. Is it sad toast and lukewarm coffee, or a glorious feast?
Okay, BREAKFAST. This is where Escape to Paradise *shines*. We are talking, GLORIOUS. Absolutely glorious. Forget the sad toast. Forget the lukewarm coffee. We’re talking a spread that will make your heart sing and your stomach... very happy. I'm a bit of a breakfast fiend, I'll admit. I ordered the Full English (of course). Perfectly cooked eggs, crispy bacon, proper sausages, the works. They even had *real* mushrooms (some places skimp on the mushrooms! The audacity!). And the coffee? Strong, hot, and plentiful. I actually had *three* cups. Don't judge me, it was that good. Seriously, it's probably one of the best breakfasts I've had at a B&B anywhere. And the dining area? Light-filled, overlooking the garden... perfection. The toast was *perfectly* toasted. I'm getting hungry just thinking about it.
Is this place... kid-friendly? Or is it more of a "whisper, tiptoe, and don't even *think* about dropping a crumb" kind of vibe?
Ah, the age-old question. And let me tell you, it *depends*. From what I saw, it felt like a "well-behaved children are welcome" kind of place. I didn't see any screaming toddlers running amok, *thank the heavens*. (No offense to toddlers, but sometimes...). I did spot a couple of families there, and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. There's a lovely garden, which probably helps with the "kids-need-to-expend-energy" situation. However, if your children are prone to tantrums, or have a peculiar habit of "redecorating" with crayons, maybe... just maybe... reconsider. It's not a "full-on kid zone" like one of those mega-resorts. More like "a peaceful oasis *plus* well-behaved children." So, assess your own situation.
Bedfordview... isn't it a bit, you know... *boring*? What's there to actually *do* around Escape to Paradise?
Okay, let's be honest. Bedfordview isn't exactly Ibiza. But "boring"? Come on now! It's got a certain charm, alright? And Escape to Paradise is in a great location. You're close to shopping centers (for emergency retail therapy, always a good thing), restaurants (lots of good options, from casual to fancy), and easy access to various highways. And, importantly, close to the airport! No endless journeys through traffic before your flight! Which is a massive win. Plus, you can easily get into the more "happening" areas of Johannesburg (Rosebank, Melville, etc.) if you're feeling adventurous. What I *did* appreciate was the tranquility. It's a nice escape from the hustle and bustle. Sometimes, "doing nothing" is the best thing to do. I spent an entire afternoon reading in the garden. Bliss. Okay, maybe a *few* hours were spent scrolling through my phone, but shhh, that's a secret.
Let's get down to brass tacks: is it expensive? Because "paradise" often comes with a hefty price tag.
Right, the money question. Truthfully, the pricing feels... fair. It's not dirt cheap, but it's not gouging you either. Considering the quality, the location, and the breakfast, I thought it was a good value. Better yet, it's a proper getaway from the city without the price tag of some of the more 'boujee" destinations. I'd happily go back without feeling like I'd taken out a second mortgage to cover the cost. Remember, you are investing in your sanity, people! And at the end of the day, what price can you put on a decent night's sleep and a truly exceptional breakfast? Answer: Probably less than you think at the Escape to Paradise.
What about the staff? Are they friendly? Helpful? Or do they give you the cold shoulder?
The staff? Lovely. Absolutely lovely. They were warm, welcoming, and genuinely seemed to care about making my stay enjoyable. The owner, I think her name was Susan (or something similar, I have a terrible memory), was especially charming. She greeted me with a smile, showed me around, and clearly took pride in her little slice of paradise. They were attentive without being intrusive, always available if I needed anything, and gave me some excellent recommendations for dinner that would have been a complete blind spot for me. There was also this one woman in the kitchen, I didn't catch her name, but she made the most amazing coffee. That woman deserves a medal. So, yeah, the staff are a definite plus. Definitely no cold shoulders here.
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