Escape to Paradise: De Maria House, Massa Lubrense's Hidden Gem
Escape to Paradise: De Maria House, Massa Lubrense's Hidden Gem
Escape to Paradise: De Maria House – Massa Lubrense: My Love Affair (and a Few Gripes) with this Hidden Gem
Right, buckle up, because I just got back from De Maria House in Massa Lubrense, and my brain is still buzzing like a caffeinated hummingbird. Forget those cookie-cutter hotel reviews; this is the real deal, warts and all. Think of it as a chaotic love letter, punctuated by the occasional eye-roll.
First Impressions (and the Climb!)
Okay, first things first: De Maria House is nestled away. Accessibility? Well, let's just say bring your walking shoes. While the hotel itself seems fairly Wheelchair accessible within its walls, getting there… that’s another story. It involved some steep inclines and a final, breathtaking climb up. It's like the hotel is challenging you. But once you're there, the view… the view erases all the exertion. It's the kind of view that makes you want to throw your phone in the air and scream "I'M ALIVE!" (I almost did).
Rooms: Sanctuary (mostly)
My room? Glorious. Available in all rooms: Air conditioning (thank the heavens!), Air conditioning, uh-huh, Alarm clock (seriously, who uses these anymore?), Bathrobes (always a plus!), a Bathroom phone… because, reasons? There's bathtub, Blackout curtains that actually work (a rare gem!), Carpeting (I’m not always a fan, but it felt luxurious here), a Closet large enough to house a small family, a Coffee/tea maker (vital!), Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping (my room was spotless every day, like magic!), a Desk, an Extra long bed (finally, a bed I don't dangle off!), Free bottled water (hydration is key!), a Hair dryer that actually dries your hair, a High floor, an In-room safe box (paranoid me, I used it), Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities (thank god, my clothes are always a wrinkled mess), a Laptop workspace, Linens that smelled like sunshine, a Mini bar (a little pricey, but convenience wins!), Mirror, Non-smoking (hallelujah!), On-demand movies (a lifesaver after a long day), a Private bathroom, a Reading light (for those late-night novel binges), a Refrigerator (for the aforementioned drinks), Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels (boredom be gone!), a Scale (uh oh…), a Seating area (perfect for contemplating life), a Separate shower/bathtub, a Shower, Slippers (the little touches!), Smoke detector, Socket near the bed (essential!), a Sofa (comfy!), Soundproofing (peace and quiet!), Telephone, Toiletries, Towels (fluffy!), Umbrella (because Italian weather is a fickle beast), Visual alarm (thankfully didn’t need it) and Wake-up service (a good backup, even though I’m a natural early riser). The Wi-Fi [free] worked like a charm, too – crucial for someone like me who is permanently glued to the internet. And yes… window that opens! I lived for that fresh air.
And… okay, here's my one semi-major gripe: the room decorations. They were… a bit much. A little too… decorated. Like, it felt like they’d raided a particularly flamboyant antique shop. But hey, that’s the charm, right? Quirky and… memorable.
Food, Glorious Food (and a Few Hiccups)
Okay, let's talk about food. Because, Italy. Dining, drinking, and snacking at De Maria House is a full-on experience. The main restaurant, with its A la carte in restaurant, is fantastic. I devoured pasta with views (and red wine, plenty of red wine). Alternative meal arrangements are available, which is great. Asian breakfast? No. Asian cuisine in restaurant? Nope. Bar? Yep, and the Aperol Spritzes were lethal (in a good way). It had a Bottle of water, a Breakfast [buffet] which was a feast every single morning! A Breakfast service! No complaints here! They had a Buffet in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, a small Coffee shop, Desserts in restaurant, and Happy hour (every hour should be happy hour, just sayin'). Their International cuisine in restaurant was outstanding. The Poolside bar was everything I wanted, right there. The Restaurants (plural!) were exceptional. The Room service [24-hour] was a lifesaver after those late nights exploring. They had a small Salad in restaurant and Snack bar. I had great Soup in restaurant, and they were a Vegetarian restaurant. Western breakfast and Western cuisine in restaurant was available.
Overall, it was amazing! The only time it wasn’t quite so amazing? One night, I ordered room service (because, jet lag). The food was… fine. But it took forever. And the guy who delivered it looked like it was his first day. Let’s just say there was a slight… language barrier. It was actually kind of endearing, in a slapstick kind of way.
Wellness and Relaxation: My Happy Place
Okay, deep breaths. Spa time! Spa/sauna time, even! The Pool with view is a postcard come to life. I spent a good chunk of my trip just floating, staring at the sea, and feeling utterly, ridiculously relaxed. They have a Sauna, a Steamroom, and a Swimming pool [outdoor]! I heard they offer a Body scrub and Body wrap. They had a Fitness center for all those calories you're bound to be consuming! They have a Foot bath, and Gym/fitness, I did not touch a single piece of equipment, but it looked…well, like a gym. They even had Massage! I swear, I could have stayed in that spa forever. Ah, bliss.
Cleanliness and Safety: Feeling Secure
In these times, safety is paramount, and De Maria House seemed to take it seriously. Anti-viral cleaning products made me feel secure. They offered Breakfast in room and Breakfast takeaway service! They had a Cashless payment service. Yes! They did Daily disinfection in common areas. They even had a Doctor/nurse on call! The First aid kit was there for any mishaps. They provided Hand sanitizer everywhere and Hot water linen and laundry washing. Their Hygiene certification was there for everyone to see. Individually-wrapped food options were available. I saw Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, and they used Professional-grade sanitizing services. They offer Room sanitization opt-out available, and they cleaned the Rooms sanitized between stays. They had a Safe dining setup, and Sanitized kitchen and tableware items. They'd Shared stationery removed! Staff trained in safety protocol, and had Sterilizing equipment. I saw CCTV in common areas and CCTV outside property. There were Exterior corridors, Fire extinguishers, a Front desk [24-hour], and Safety/security feature, Security [24-hour], Smoke alarms! I was reassured by all this and felt safe, even as the world outside felt a little crazy.
Services and Conveniences: Above and Beyond
I felt like I was being catered too, with a smile! It had services and conveniences that were really something: Air conditioning in public area! Audio-visual equipment for special events! Business facilities! Cash withdrawal! Concierge, who helped me with everything from booking a boat trip to figuring out the local bus schedule. Contactless check-in/out, which was super convenient. A small but useful Convenience store. Currency exchange services. Daily housekeeping (mentioned this already, but it deserves repeating!). A charming Doorman. Dry cleaning, which I thankfully didn’t need. An Elevator (thank goodness!), and Essential condiments… a must. Facilities for disabled guests. Food delivery, which was a lifesaver on a particularly lazy afternoon. A Gift/souvenir shop (I bought way too many limoncello-flavored things). Indoor and outdoor venue for special events. Invoice provided, which made life easy when it came to expenses. Even Ironing service! Laundry service, and Luggage storage! Meeting/banquet facilities, and they even provided Meetings, Meeting stationery. They can host On-site event hosting, and they have a Projector/LED display. They have Safety deposit boxes, and Seminars! And a Shrine, which was a surprise! A Terrace, and Wi-Fi for special events. And a Xerox/fax in business center.
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Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the glorious, sun-drenched chaos that is De Maria House in Massa Lubrense, Italy. This ain't your cookie-cutter, Instagram-perfect itinerary. This is my trip, and it's gonna be a glorious, messy, and hopefully hilarious adventure.
Day 1: Arrival and the Holy Grail of Espresso
- 10:00 AM: Arrive at Naples airport. The moment I stepped off that plane? BAM. Hit with a wall of humid, delicious air. Instantly felt my soul do a little happy dance. Finding the pre-booked shuttle was a right pain in the butt. Turns out "pick-up point" is an Italian phrase that apparently translates to "random carpark, good luck." Eventually, the driver, bless his heart, materialized, looking vaguely like he’d been wrestling a pizza all morning.
- 11:30 AM: Road trip to Massa Lubrense. The Amalfi Coast is a tease. Absolutely breathtaking – cliffs plunging into the turquoise sea, villages clinging to the sides like colorful grapes. But the roads? Oh, the roads. They're narrow, winding, and require a level of driving skill that I, frankly, don’t possess. My knuckles are still white from gripping the seat.
- 1:00 PM: Arrive at De Maria House. WHOA. Okay, so the view from the balcony? Seriously, it's postcard material. That instant feeling of "I'm home". The place itself is rustic, charming, and smells faintly of lemons and something indescribably Italian. I love it.
- 2:00 PM: The Holy Grail of Espresso Hunt Begins. First stop: a teeny, tiny bar just down the street. My Italian is… well, let's say it's enthusiastically approximate. Gestures, pointing, and a lot of "Buongiorno! Caffè, per favore!" later, I get my first espresso. And… holy cannoli. It's like liquid velvet. Seriously, it's the taste of dreams. This is a very important detail, ok?
- 2:30 PM: The Second one, from a different place… almost as great as the first.
- 3:00 PM: Walk through town, looking for the best gelato shop.
- 3:30 PM: A lemon gelato… Oh yeah.
- 4:00 PM: Unpacking and exploring the house. Note to self: the washing machine is a mystery. So far, I think my clothes are either going to come out sparkling clean… or as tiny, shrunken versions of themselves. We'll see.
- 6:00 PM: Sunset cocktails on the balcony – Aperol spritz. The sun bleeds into the sea, turning everything gold. I'm pretty sure this is happiness.
- 8:00 PM: Dinner at a tiny, family-run trattoria (restaurant) recommended by the owner. Pasta, pasta, and more pasta. I'm pretty sure I gained five pounds just staring at the menu. No regrets.
Day 2: Pompeii and the Existential Crisis of Ancient Ruins
- 8:00 AM: Wake up. Realize I'm probably going to be late to Pompeii. Start the day with a quick espresso.
- 9:00 AM: Quick, light breakfast, and get ready to go to Pompeii.
- 10:00 AM: Pompeii. Okay, so walking through the ruins is, honestly, mind-blowing. The scale of it all is incredible. These people lived here, breathed this air, built these houses… It's a time warp. I'm suddenly very aware of my own mortality, and the fact that I probably should have worn a hat. And the crowds! They were like a tide, but I loved the place.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch at a small pizzeria near Pompeii. Best pizza in my life? Maybe. Possibly. Definitely.
- 2:00 PM: More rummaging around Pompeii. The graffiti is brilliant, the mosaics are beautiful.
- 4:00 PM: Head back to De Maria House. The existential dread from the ruins starts to hit. I spend a good hour staring at the sea, wondering what the point of it all is.
- 5:00 PM: A much-needed gelato to combat existential dread.
- 6:00 PM: Nap.
- 7:00 PM: Drinks and a dinner by the sea at a restaurant, again, recommended by the owner.
Day 3: Capri, My Wallet's Worst Nightmare
- 8:30 AM: Caffe. Espresso, no sugar. Feel good.
- 9:30 AM: Ferry to Capri. Ok, the ferry ride is a little nauseating.
- 10:30 AM: Capri. Oh good lord, Capri. Beautiful, yes. Crowded, yes. Expensive, YES! The boutiques are glittering, the yachts are obscenely large, and my credit card is weeping softly in my pocket.
- 11:00 AM: The Blue Grotto. Okay, so the boat ride into the grotto is amazing. The color of the water is unreal! It's like a liquid sapphire. Worth the wait, and totally worth the money.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch. A slightly overpriced panino (sandwich) with a stunning view. Pretend I'm a millionaire for a few minutes.
- 2:00 PM: Explore Capri: The Gardens of Augustus are gorgeous, but the crowds are a beast. Wear comfortable shoes, you'll need them.
- 4:00 PM: Ferry back to Massa Lubrense. My feet are aching, my bank account is screaming, but my soul is happy.
- 5:00 PM: Rest at De Maria House.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner. Simple, delicious meal at the house, some pasta and salad.
- 8:00 PM: Reflect on the day.
Day 4: The Lemon Grove of My Dreams & the Washing Machine Saga
- 9:00 AM: Espresso, the ritual begins.
- 10:00 AM: Today is the day. I'm going to conquer the washing machine. I study the manual, which is, of course, in Italian. It’s mostly pictures. I make a few educated guesses, throw in some detergent, and cross my fingers. The suspense is killing me.
- 11:00 AM: Time to venture out and explore the lemon groves, which this area is famous for. The owner of De Maria House recommended one. I get lost… again. Finally, after a wrong turn or two, I found it. The scent of lemon is intense, the trees are laden with fruit, and it’s utterly magical. I feel like I’ve stumbled into a perfume commercial.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch at a small family-run trattoria in the lemon grove. The pasta with lemon sauce is heavenly. I'll dream about it for weeks.
- 2:00 PM: Back to De Maria House, with the washing machine on my mind.
- 3:00 PM: Washing Machine Check! The clothes are… slightly damp, but mostly not shrunken! Victory!
- 4:00 PM: Relaxing time. A nice break, the best thing ever.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner: I make a simple pasta dinner at the house using local ingredients.
Day 5: Departure… and the Bitter-Sweet Goodbye
- 8:00 AM: Last espresso. I need to savor every drop. It's a moment of pure joy.
- 9:00 AM: Quick packing.
- 10:00 AM: One last walk, just to soak it all in. The sea, the sun, the smells… I don’t want to leave.
- 11:00 AM: Check Out, time to say goodbye to De Maria House.
- 12:00 PM: Head to the airport.
- 1:00 PM: At the airport.
- 7:00 PM: On the plane. Sad.
- 8:00 PM: Home? No. Italy will always be home.
This is just a rough outline, of course. There will be detours, spontaneous gelato stops, and moments of utter bewilderment. But that's the beauty of it, isn't it? The imperfections, the unexpected moments, the way you lose yourself in the beauty of it all. This trip is going to be amazing. I can feel it.
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So, "Escape to Paradise: De Maria House?" Sounds dreamy. Is it *actually* paradise, though? Be completely honest.
Okay, quirks. What *kind* of quirks are we talking about? Like, leaky faucets, or something more… character-building?
The location – Massa Lubrense. Is it easy to access? I'm not exactly a seasoned international traveler.
What about the food? I heard Italian food is a big deal. (Understatement.)
Is there anything to *do* besides eat? (Although, valid question.)
What’s the catch? There *has* to be a catch.
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