Crete's BEST Esplanade Apartments: Ocean Views & Luxury Await!
Crete's BEST Esplanade Apartments: Ocean Views & Luxury Await!
Crete's BEST Esplanade Apartments: Ocean Views & Luxury… Yeah, But Is It REAL Life? A Review From a Slightly Chaotic Traveler
Okay, alright, buckle up, buttercups. Because I just got back from the Esplanade Apartments in Crete, and I'm officially a mix of sun-kissed bliss and slight exhaustion from all the stuff they offer. Listing amenities? Forget it, I'm delivering the TRUTH, as unfiltered as the raki they generously pour at the happy hour.
(Metadata First, Because Apparently Google Likes That)
- Keywords: Crete, Esplanade Apartments, Luxury, Ocean View, Hotel Review, Accessibility, Spa, Pool, Restaurant, Wi-Fi, Family Friendly, [Add relevant local keywords like "Chania," "Heraklion," "Greek Islands"]
(Accessibility: The Golden Ticket, Or Not Quite)
For starters, access is crucial for me, even if some things won't affect me physically, but in my mind I value ease of access over everything! Their "Facilities for disabled guests" is a big win. The "Elevator" is a must when you're lugging around suitcases (and a questionable amount of souvenirs). I saw someone in a wheelchair navigating the property with ease, which warmed my heart. BUT, and there's always a but, the website kept boasting about "Accessibility" and "Wheelchair accessible" but I felt a little misled. I can't point out enough how important it is to thoroughly investigate this stuff, even if you don't need it! It's never a bad thing to get information!
(The Wi-Fi War & Other Modern Day Necessities)
"Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!" they proclaim proudly. And mostly, they deliver. Usually, you can connect to the internet. Usually. There were a couple of times my phone went haywire, and I had to hunt down a Wi-Fi signal like some digital Indiana Jones. Remember! "Internet [LAN]" is also available. I'm not sure who still uses that, grandma? But hey, choices! And, yes, the "Internet Services" worked, eventually. I managed to upload embarrassing photos of myself onto Instagram (see: #cretelife).
(Things to Do, Or How I Almost Became a Sun-Dried Tomato)
Okay, so, the "Swimming pool [outdoor]"? Glorious. Absolutely glorious. Picture this: turquoise water, sun beating down, gentle breeze… sigh. The "Pool with a view" is definitely a selling point. My first day was spent in a semi-stupor of pure bliss. The "Sauna," "Spa," and "Steamroom" are all there, and while I briefly considered a "Body scrub," the thought of being poked and prodded while still recovering from the flight made me take a hard pass. But hey, it’s there. So, credit where credit is due.
(Cleanliness & Safety: Pandemic-Proofing, or Just Good Hygiene?)
The "Anti-viral cleaning products" and "Daily disinfection in common areas" were reassuring, especially after seeing some of the… interesting sanitation practices on the plane. "Hand sanitizer" was plentiful (thank goodness!), and the staff were definitely trained in safety protocol. The "Rooms sanitized between stays" was a definite plus. I’m still not entirely sure I'm ready for germ-free environments, but I appreciated the effort!
(Dining, Drinking, & Snacking: The Culinary Rollercoaster)
"A la carte in restaurant"? Check. "Buffet in restaurant"? Check. "Restaurants"? Plural, yes. "Poolside Bar"? Double check. Oh, and the "Happy hour"? That was a daily highlight. Specifically, I doubled down on the "Poolside Bar" because it was truly the beating heart of this whole place! The bartenders, they became my confidantes, my therapists, my suppliers of cheap, delicious cocktails. One afternoon, during particularly devastating heartbreak from a game of cards, I swear I had one shot after another! I can barely remember the end of "Happy Hour," but I do remember waking up the next morning with a renewed appreciation for life, a pounding headache, and a newfound love for Cretan sunshine. The "Asian breakfast" actually turned into a "Western breakfast," but oh well! "Coffee/tea in restaurant" was consistently good.
(Services & Conveniences: The Little Things That Matter)
"Daily housekeeping": Thank you, angels! My room would magically reappear as a lovely space, every single day. The "Concierge" bent over backwards to help with everything, even finding me a last-minute taxi. (I think I’m still blacklisted from one of the car rental places…) "Safety deposit boxes": You can safely store your valuables. "Laundry service": Super useful. The "Terrace" was wonderful for a morning coffee. The "Doorman" was always on hand with a greeting, even if I didn't look my best.
(For the Kids: Family Fun, or Run For the Hills?)
"Babysitting service"? "Family/child friendly"? "Kids facilities"? I'm not a parent. I barely understand the concept of responsible adulthood, so I can't really comment. I saw kids running around happily. No shrieking, no carnage. That's probably a good sign, right?
(Inside the Rooms: Comfort & Chaos)
"Additional toilet," "Air conditioning," and "Blackout curtains" were all crucial for me. "In-room safe box" was useful. The "Mini bar." I can't remember what was in the mini-bar, but it was probably fine. The "Slippers" and "Bathrobes". It's pretty relaxing to roam this place like a king. The "Soundproofing" was surprisingly effective considering the proximity to a bustling town (and the late-night karaoke sessions from the neighboring hotel).
(Getting Around: Taxi Tales & Parking Predicaments)
"Airport transfer," "Car park [free of charge]," "Taxi service," "Valet parking." They've got it all. I used a taxi mostly (see: taxi blacklist). The "Car park" was pretty spacious.
(Final Verdict: Is the Esplanade Worth It?
Look, the Esplanade Apartments aren't perfect. Nothing is. The Wi-Fi can be temperamental. My attempts at "Body wraps" were abandoned. But… the views? The pool? The friendly staff? Happy Hour? Absolutely worthwhile. It's a place where you can relax, be pampered, and forget the world for a while. The blend of luxury and a genuine attempt for accessibility creates an experience. I give it a solid B+. Go. Drink Raki. And don't forget to tip the bartender. You'll thank me later. Now, with a slightly foggy head, I’m off to plan my return trip!
Dazzling Pattaya Paradise: Your Dream D Apartment Awaits!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into the chaotic, sun-drenched, feta-cheese-and-ouzo-fueled adventure that was my trip to the Esplanade Apartments in Crete. Forget your perfectly curated Instagram feeds, this is the REAL DEAL. Prepare for spilled sangria, questionable decisions, and enough tan lines to rival a zebra.
Crete: Esplanade Apartment Mayhem - A Trip Report (and a Cry for Help?)
Day 1: Arrival and the Great Apartment Debacle (Or, "Where's the Balcony?")
- Time: Early, early, EARLY. Like, the sun hasn't even had its coffee yet early. Thanks, budget airlines.
- Activity: Flying into Heraklion. Which, by the way, sounds like a character in a Greek tragedy, and let me tell you, the travel gods were playing a cruel game of fate with that airport.
- Transportation: Plane, obviously. And then a rented Fiat Panda, which immediately felt like it was plotting my demise on the winding Cretan roads. (Spoiler: it almost succeeded.)
- Emotional State: Excited jello shots of anticipation mixed with the low hum of travel anxiety. Would the apartments actually exist? Would my luggage? Would I remember to put on sunscreen before I resembled a lobster? These are the real questions, people.
- Anecdote: So, we finally arrive at the Esplanade Apartments. Looked promising! White-washed, overlooking the sea… And then we get our room. It looked like the picture on the website, kinda. Except, the picture neglected to mention the fact that our "sea view" was mostly a view of a…wall. And, more hilariously, there was no balcony. Zero. Zilch. Nada. My friend, bless her heart, almost burst into tears. "But…I wanted to drink my morning coffee overlooking the ocean!" I, on the other hand, was already plotting my next move: a strongly worded email to the booking site, followed by a gin and tonic. Priorities.
Day 2: Chasing the Sunlight (and Maybe Some Tzatziki)
- Time: Mornings started late. Blame the jet lag and the aforementioned gin and tonics.
- Activity: Trying to find a beach that wasn't completely packed. Turns out, everyone else had the same idea.
- Transportation: The death-trap Fiat Panda (affectionately nicknamed "The Pothole Predator").
- Emotional State: Optimistic, but increasingly grumpy about the hordes of tourists. Also, hungry. Always hungry.
- Quirky Observation: The sheer volume of cats in Crete is astounding. They're everywhere! Sunbathing, strolling down the road, judging you with their superior cat eyes. I developed a new level of respect for felines.
- Rambling: Okay, so beaches. They're supposed to be relaxing, right? Lying on the sand, the waves gently lapping… That's the postcard fantasy. The reality? Fighting for space, battling rogue beach umbrellas, dodging kids with sand-covered ice cream cones. I mean, I love kids, but a little space would be nice, huh? And the sun. That Cretan sun is INTENSE. I slathered on sunscreen like a madwoman, fearing the lobster effect, but still, I could feel the sun's evil intentions.
Day 3: Knossos: A Whirlwind of History and Heatstroke (Maybe)
- Time: Early, again. Because, history. And heat.
- Activity: Visiting the Knossos Palace. Think Minoan civilization, incredible ruins, and… well, more tourists.
- Transportation: The Pothole Predator, valiantly surviving.
- Emotional State: In awe of the history, slightly overwhelmed by the crowds, and definitely dehydrated.
- Stronger Emotional Reaction: Wow. Knossos. It’s breathtaking. Walking through those ancient ruins, imagining the Minoans bustling around, the vibrant frescoes… it's utterly, utterly amazing. But OH MY GOD the sun. I felt like I was slowly melting. The tour guide was moving at the speed of a tortoise, and I just wanted to find some shade and chug a gallon of water.
- Double Down: Let me tell you about the heat again. I am not used to this level of heat. Okay, I'm from North America, and it's not like it doesn't get warm here, but this was…different. I'm not even sure how. It was thick, heavy, and relentless. I watched people faint. I heard the hiss of water evaporating from people's skin. It was biblical. Absolutely biblical, and I was unprepared. Seriously, I need more shade, and perhaps a cold compress.
Day 4: Ouzo, Olives, and a Near-Disaster at the Bar
- Time: Late morning, starting out with a bit of a post-Knossos recovery brunch.
- Activity: Exploring a charming little village, eating ALL the olives (seriously, the best olives I've ever tasted), and sampling the local ouzo.
- Transportation: The Pothole Predator, still clinging on.
- Emotional State: Relaxed, happy, slightly buzzed.
- Messier Structure and Occasional Rants: Oh, the village! Picture this: a tiny town, whitewashed houses, flowers spilling out of every balcony, the smell of freshly baked bread wafting through the air. Utter bliss. And the food! The olives! The feta cheese! The souvlaki! I practically inhaled everything. Then came the ouzo. Delicious. Deceptively so. One minute, you're merrily chatting, the next, you think you can do a handstand on the bar. (Spoiler: you can't. And the bartender was… not amused.)
- Anecdote/Rant Continued: The bar incident. Right.So, I'd had a few ouzos. Okay, more than a few. And, I saw a sign on the bar shelf that said "Try the local Raki!". I thought "Why not? I already have two of these. What's a third?" I said to my friend. My friend just looked at me. "Dude, I don't think we're allowed to do that here…" Then I decided I wanted to see what I could see, and I crawled under the bar (I have no idea why), and tried to use it as a slide (because I was drunk). Well, I got stuck in the mud! The bartender didn't like me. I think I was almost ejected from the bar. But! I made amends. I bought them all a round of beers. And they seemed to like me better. I think. Either way, the next morning, I was a mess.
Day 5: The Search For the Perfect Sunset (And Maybe a Gelato)
- Time: Evening, when the sun wasn't trying to murder you anymore.
- Activity: Sunset viewing. Because, cliché. But the sunsets are actually amazing.
- Transportation: The Pothole Predator, finally starting to feel like an old friend.
- Emotional State: Contented, reflective, slightly sad that the trip was winding down.
- Quirky Observation: The way the light hits the water at sunset is magical. It's like the entire sea is made of liquid gold.
- Stronger Emotional Reaction: Honestly, the sunsets in Crete? They're why I love this island. They take your breath away. You just sit there on the beach, watching the colors explode across the sky, and for a few precious moments, all your worries just… melt away. It's pure, unadulterated joy. It's what makes all the bad parts worthwhile.
Day 6: Departure - Goodbye, Crete! (And Hello, Reality)
- Time: Early, again. Why? Because travel.
- Activity: Driving to the airport, trying not to cry, and vowing to return.
- Transportation: The Pothole Predator, finally free. (Bless you, little car.)
- Emotional State: Exhausted, a little sunburned, slightly hungover, but completely, utterly, utterly in love with Crete.
- Final Thoughts: Crete is a mess. It's chaotic. It's beautiful. It's frustrating. It's hilarious. It's everything. And I wouldn't trade a single, sun-baked, ouzo-soaked moment of it. Yes, the apartment was questionable. Yes, the heat was brutal. But the food, the people, the sea, the history… it's all worth it.
Okay, spill it. Is the view *really* as good as the pictures at Crete's BEST Esplanade Apartments? 'Cause let's be honest, marketing is a LIE sometimes.
Alright, buckle up, buttercup. The view? Look, I went in skeptical. I've seen some photoshopped paradise in my day. But the Esplanade? Picture this: I walk out onto the balcony around 6 AM, still half-asleep, coffee in hand. The sun, it's not just *rising*. It's painting the sea. Like, Van Gogh levels of gorgeous. I actually yelped. My partner, who NEVER gets up early, poked his head out, grumbling about the light. Then… he just *stopped*. Silence. Then, "Wow." That sums it up. It's not just "good," it's the kind of view that makes you question all your life choices that led you *away* from it for so long. Honestly, I spent a solid hour that first morning just… staring. Lost track of time. Almost missed breakfast (which, by the way…).
What about the "luxury" part? I've been burned by "luxury" before and ended up with a glorified motel room. What's the real deal?
Ah, yes. Luxury. It's a loaded word, isn't it? Right, so… here's the thing. It's not ostentatious luxury, which I frankly find a bit… tiring. No gold-plated toilets (thank GOD). It's *effortless* luxury. Like, the sheets? Heaven. Seriously. I actually texted my friend, “I’m pretty sure I could sleep in a box made of these sheets. They're that good.” The kitchen is well-equipped, but not intimidating. I actually *cooked* a meal, which is a rare occurrence in my life. And the bathrooms… pristine. Spotless. I'm a bit of a germaphobe, and even *I* felt relaxed in there. The little touches, like the welcome basket with local treats and wine… that’s the kind of luxury that makes you feel welcomed, not just… processed. I loved it. I really, really loved it.
Location, location, location! How close are the apartments to… well, everything? Beaches, restaurants, the whole shebang?
Okay, this is where the Esplanade *nails* it. You’re basically *in* the thick of things, but without the chaos. Restaurants are a hop, skip, and a jump away. Literally. You could stumble back to your apartment after a few… well, let’s just say, Cretan cocktails, without a problem. (Note to self: try the raki. Seriously. Try the raki.) The beaches… even better. Walkable. Easy breezy. No endless bus rides or parking nightmares. You can do a quick dip in the morning, then hop back, shower, and be ready for lunch in, like, an hour. It's brilliant. You can be as lazy or as active as you want. I ended up doing a bit of both, which is the ultimate vacation goal, right?
Alright, let's get real. Anything… *not* perfect? I'm bracing myself. I'm sure there's SOMETHING.
Okay, fine. Here's the one hiccup. One evening, we were trying to have a romantic dinner on the balcony. Beautiful evening, sun setting, wine flowing… and then, BAM. A couple in the apartment next door decided to have a really loud, *very* detailed argument. Like, walls-thin loud. It went on for a solid hour. Ruined the mood a bit, let me tell you. I wanted to go over there and start yelling back in Greek, or maybe just bang on the wall until they shut up. But, you know, decorum and all that. I ended up just muttering under my breath for the rest of the evening, feeling a bit… salty. (And, also, desperately trying to understand Greek, which I don’t. But I got the gist.) So, consider earplugs, just in case. It's the only slight blip in an otherwise perfect experience. And honestly, it could happen anywhere. People, am I right?
I'm a foodie. Are there any good restaurants nearby? And will I be able to find authentic Greek food, or is it all just tourist traps?
Foodie, huh? You've COME to the right place. Okay, first thing, ditch the idea that everything around a tourist area is a trap. Yes, there are some… let's call them "less inspired" places. But the Esplanade is situated in a really good spot, where both locals and tourists go. There's a tiny taverna a few steps away that serves the BEST grilled octopus. Seriously, I'm still dreaming about it. And another one, slightly further, with a patio overlooking the sea, where I had the best moussaka of my LIFE. I'm getting hungry just thinking about it. Ask the apartment staff for recommendations, they know the good stuff. They steered us towards a place that was slightly out of the way, where we ate with a bunch of friendly locals. I tried to communicate with my absolutely terrible Greek, and they were wonderfully patient. Wonderful. Also, the olive oil... be prepared, you will be addicted. I almost bought a suitcase full.
Is it family-friendly? I'm traveling with kids, and I need to know if it's going to be a constant battle.
Hmm, family-friendly… Depends. My immediate instinct is to say YES. Absolutely. The apartments themselves are spacious. You're not crammed into a tiny hotel room. That's a huge win. The kitchen is great for preparing snacks. The proximity to beaches? Perfect for keeping the little ones entertained (and wearing them out, which is always a bonus!). HOWEVER, consider this: It's not a resort. There's no kids' club. No massive pool with waterslides. If you have high-energy, *easily* bored kids, you'll need to be prepared to entertain them. But honestly, Crete itself is pretty family-friendly. The Greeks LOVE kids. And a well-behaved kid will be adored by everyone around. My advice? Do your research on kid-friendly activities in the area (beaches, boat trips, little museums), and the Esplanade will be a fantastic base. If your kids are the quiet, well-behaved sort, then yes, it's perfect. But if you have a couple of mini-tornadoes, it might depend on your tolerance levels.
What about the staff? Are they helpful? Do they speak English? Because broken communication is the bane of my existence.
Oh, the staff? Fantastic. Seriously. Friendly, helpful, andLuxury Escape Awaits: Shell Hotel Near Fangchenggang High-Speed Rail!
Post a Comment for "Crete's BEST Esplanade Apartments: Ocean Views & Luxury Await!"