**Adults-Only Escape: Crete's HOTTEST Elgoni Apartments!**
**Adults-Only Escape: Crete's HOTTEST Elgoni Apartments!**
Adults-Only Escape: Crete's HOTTEST Elgoni Apartments! - A Review You Actually WANT to Read (Maybe)
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because I just survived (and thrived!) at Elgoni Apartments in Crete. And let me tell you, "HOTTEST" might be an understatement. It's less "scorching" and more, wait for it, "perfectly toasted". You know, like a croissant fresh out of the oven. Delicious, yes? Okay, let's dive in, shall we? Because honestly, after a trip like this, everything feels like a good idea.
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- Title: Elgoni Apartments Crete Review: Adults-Only Paradise & Honest Truths
- Keywords: Elgoni Apartments, Crete, Adults-Only, Review, Luxury, Spa, Wellness, Accessibility, Pool, Restaurant, Wifi, All-Inclusive, Honeymoon, Relaxation, Crete Hotels, Elgoni, Elgoni Apartments Crete Review.
- Meta Description: My honest review of Elgoni Apartments in Crete! Discover if this adults-only escape truly lives up to the hype. Packed with insights on accessibility, dining, spa, and more.
The Good, the Great, and the "Oh, Honey, Maybe Skip That" (AKA the Rambling Begins)
So, first things first: Accessibility. Look, I'm not using a wheelchair myself, but I did poke around. (I'm nosy, okay?) They've put some serious thought into it. Wheelchair access is a thing! Elevators, ramps… a definite plus. Considering some of these older hotels can be challenging. I saw a few folks making good use of it and it was fantastic! I'm not 100% sure but it seemed pretty accessible, though I can't state fully that it's perfect because, well, I didn't use a wheelchair.
On-site accessible restaurants / lounges? Yes, they have that too! Again, from what I observed. I didn't try it myself and I don't have exact details. Just trust me.
Internet Access: Thank the gods of connectivity! Free Wi-Fi in all rooms, and it actually works! Okay, I take that back, sometimes it flickered, but mostly it was great. I needed my Insta-fix, and Elgoni delivered. Internet, Internet [LAN], Internet services… all there. You can even get Wi-Fi in public areas. It felt decadent. Almost wrong. But mostly, delicious.
Things to Do? Ways to Relax? (My Happy Place)
This is where Elgoni really shines, people. I'm talking serious pampering.
- Spa/sauna: The spa! Let me tell you about the spa. I spent a solid afternoon there. I even did a Body scrub. Like, full-on, "I'm going to get rid of the last year of stress" exfoliation. My skin hasn't been that happy since my 20s. Absolutely worth it.
- Sauna, Spa, Steamroom, Foot bath, Pool with view, Massage… Need I say more? Okay, I will. The view from the Pool with view alone is worth the price of admission. Floating there, cocktail in hand, watching the sunset over the Aegean? Pure therapy. Pure, unadulterated bliss.
- Fitness center, Gym/fitness: I thought about the gym. I really did. I saw the equipment. Then I saw the pool. And the bar. The gym did not win.
- Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]: Several pools. Glorious pools. One of them I think was heated. If it wasn't, I didn't care. It was perfect, anyway.
Cleanliness and Safety (Because, You Know, We're Still Living Through That Time)
They're taking it seriously. REALLY seriously. Which, honestly, made me feel a lot better.
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Check.
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Yup.
- Hand sanitizer: Everywhere.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Absolutely.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: They were actually friendly and seemed to really care.
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Check.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: Mostly. Okay, sometimes in the pool, you got a little close to a stranger. But it was all good!
- Room sanitization opt-out available: Nice touch (I'm not a fan of constant cleaning where it's unnecessary.)
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: (My Second Happy Place)
This is where I truly let loose. Elgoni understands the importance of good food and… well, good drinks.
- Restaurants, A la carte in restaurant, Buffet in restaurant, Salad in restaurant, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Asian cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant,Coffee/tea in restaurant, Desserts in restaurant The options were insane. And delicious. I especially loved the Asian breakfast. So good.
- Poolside bar Another happy place. I made friends with the bartender. His name was Dimitri, and he mixed a mean margarita. We talked about life, the universe, and how hot it was in Crete. He even made me a special cocktail that wasn't on the menu!
- Bar, Happy hour, Bottle of water Okay, well, everything was good. I love Beer and wine. Especially during Happy Hour.
- Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Breakfast takeaway service, Coffee shop, Western breakfast. Oh my god! The breakfast buffet was legendary. So much food. I probably gained five pounds, but it was worth it. I even got Breakfast in room service. If you’re feeling lazy…
Services and Conveniences (The Little Things That Matter)
- Air conditioning in public area, Daily housekeeping, Elevator, Facilities for disabled guests, Front desk [24-hour], Luggage storage, Safety deposit boxes, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events… I'm telling you, they thought of everything!
- Concierge, Cash withdrawal, Currency exchange, Dry cleaning, Ironing service, Laundry service, Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Airport transfer, Taxi service, Valet parking: Okay, I got a bit of help here.
- Doorman: Okay, yes. Helpful. Not too much, but helpful.
- Shop, Gift/souvenir shop, Convenience store: To stock up on those last-minute things and souvenirs.
Available in All Rooms (My List of Must-Haves)
Here's what you can expect in your room: All of it!
- Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens. Okay, I might be exaggerating a little, but they were great.
- Additional toilet, Interconnecting room(s) available
For the Kids (Spoiler: Mostly Not Applicable)
- Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal: Sorry folks, the Adults-Only thing means you're probably not getting any of that. I saw some children around the area, but not many inside the hotel.
Getting Around:
- Airport transfer, Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging station, Taxi service, Valet parking: Easy to get around. Easy.
The Imperfections (Because Nothing’s Perfect, Sadly)
Okay, let's be real. Nobody's perfect, and neither is Elgoni. Here are a few minor gripes…
- The Pricey Minibar: Okay, the mini bar was a bit steep. I may have overspent. Okay, I did. But hey, I was on vacation!
- Occasionally Slow Service: Sometimes service was a touch slow. But hey, I was also on vacation! And, honestly, I wasn't ever in a hurry.
- The Gym (Again): Seriously, it’s sad to say but I didn’t touch the gym.
Quirky Observations, Honest Opinions, and Overall Vibe
- The People: Everyone was so nice. Seriously. The staff, the other guests… everyone was just enjoying themselves. It was a really good vibe.
- The Ambiance: The whole place is just
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into a chaotic, imperfect, and hopefully hilarious travel itinerary for a grown-up getaway at Elgoni Apartments in Crete. This isn't a brochure, it's a confession.
Elgoni Adults Only: Crete - The Unvarnished Truth (and Possibly a Few Margaritas)
Pre-Trip Anxiety Attacks (or "The Packing Phase")
- Weeks Before: Panic sets in. Should I buy a new bikini, even though I'm pretty sure the ones I own are from the Jurassic period? Decisions, decisions. I swear, packing is a full-time job.
- Days Before: The usual suspects: frantically Googling "best sunscreen for pale people," realizing I haven't renewed my passport (heart attack!), and the sudden, inexplicable urge to learn conversational Greek before I even step on the plane. Spoiler alert: Failed miserably.
- Hours Before: Explosions of clothing. The floor of my bedroom becomes a warzone of swimsuits, sundresses, and the dreaded "just in case" outfits that will, of course, never be worn. Swear I'm forgetting something. Toothbrush? Nope. Underwear? Maybe…
- Airport Vibes (or "The Pre-Vacation Hangover")
- Transportation: Taxi. Of course I managed to pack way more than that carry-on. Still the taxi driver wasn't that friendly… maybe it was the four (yes, four) bottles of sunscreen I was carting around.
- Flight: Bloody boarding. I'm not a small person, and airplane seats are designed by sadists. The guy in front of me reclined his seat before we even took off. Seriously?! The only thing that saved me was a really bad airport coffee that somehow managed to be both bitter and lukewarm (go figure!).
- Arrival: Crete! The sun is intense, the air smells of salt and something floral I can't quite place, and everything feels… right. Exhausted, but right.
Day 1: Arrival, Orientation, and the Pursuit of the Perfect (and Strong) Cocktail
- Morning (ish): Landed, survived the transfer (the driver definitely wasn't impressed with my luggage), and finally, Elgoni Apartments. The photos online didn't lie! Gorgeous. Seriously gorgeous. Think bougainvillea cascading down whitewashed walls, the scent of the ocean, and a pool that actually looks like a tempting shade of blue. The check-in's easy -- I'm starting to like this "adults only" thing already!
- Afternoon: Settling in. The tiny "kitchenette" is cute, but I'm not planning on doing any actual cooking. My plan involves eating all the delicious things Crete has to offer and maybe attempting some rudimentary Greek. I'm already considering throwing my plans out the window.
- Late Afternoon/Evening: The Pool. This is where the magic happens. Spent the first few hours attempting the "effortlessly elegant" look. Failed. Miserably. Eventually, settled for "sun-kissed tomato," complete with a slightly singed nose and a severe need for hydration.
- Evening: Dinner at a taverna a short walk from the hotel. Oh. My. God. The fresh seafood, the local wine, the friendly service… I ate so much that I might have to invest in some larger swimwear. The sunset over the water was worth it. Definitely worth it. And the Ouzo? Let's just say I have a newfound appreciation for Greek culture. May have stumbled back to the apartment humming a slightly off-key version of Zorba the Greek. No ragrets.
Day 2: Rethymno Renaissance and a Lesson in Patience (and Possibly More Ouzo)
- Morning: Managed to stumble out of bed, blessedly hangover-free. Breakfast on the balcony: Greek yogurt, honey, and what I think was a rogue piece of fruit from the previous night's feast. A morning stroll to get my bearings in the bustling town of Rethymno. It's beautiful, sure, but I’m mostly worried about getting lost.
- Late Morning: The Venetian Harbour. Jaw-dropping. The colours, the boats, the sheer charm of it all. I spent ages just sitting and staring, trying to absorb the atmosphere. Had some delicious coffee at a seaside cafe, and resisted the urge to buy a pirate hat (though the temptation was strong). I’m quickly finding out that I’m not the most patient traveler.
- Afternoon: The Fortezza. History, architecture, and a spectacular view of the sea. But climb those stairs? Let's just say my thighs are not happy. Also, I may have accidentally wandered into a guided tour. It was in Greek, but I managed to pick up a few words (mostly related to "danger" and "climbing uphill").
- Evening: Tried one of those fancy restaurants. The food was exquisite, the wine was divine, and the service was… slow. Like, glacial slow. But hey, at least I had a good view. Took a deep breath. And ordered another glass of wine. It was a valuable lesson in embracing the pace of life in Greece.
Day 3: Beach Bliss, Beach Bumming, and the Price of Sunburn
- Morning: The Beach! The dream! The sun! The sea! Spent the entire morning basically melting on a sunbed. Managed to avoid the worst of the sunburn on my face.
- Afternoon: The best of intentions to be active ended up with just a nap on the beach, and some sea swimming.
- Evening: Got some delicious Souvlaki and a pint of local beer.
Day 4: Day Trip to….. Wherever the Wind Takes Me (And the Bus Schedule Allows)
- Morning: Decided that I was going to do one of many day trips that Crete offers. Some of the tours are pricey, so I decided to go on my own.
- Afternoon: The bus system, it turns out, isn't incredibly reliable. Spent what felt like an eternity at a bus stop. Finally, I made it!
- Evening: Back to the apartment and straight to the bar.
Day 5: The Truth about Lounging, Sunset Strolls, and Goodbye, My Beautiful Crete (Sniffle, Sniffle)
- Morning: Woke up feeling a little melancholy. Realized I was spending the day by the pool. Maybe I'll go for a walk later on.
- Afternoon: Did nothing. It was wonderful.
- Evening: A final sunset stroll along the beach. The sky was a riot of colors, and the air was warm and balmy. I promised myself I’d be back someday. Maybe next year, with a slightly more adventurous spirit (and better Greek skills).
Final Thoughts (or, "Lessons Learned the Hard Way")
- Packing: Pack light. I failed miserably.
- Pace Yourself: Embrace the laid-back Greek rhythm. I learned this the hard way, but it's worth it.
- Sunscreen is Your Friend: Seriously. Trust me on this one.
- Ouzo is a Good Idea: Just not too much Ouzo.
- Don't Be Afraid to Get Lost: It can lead to some of the best discoveries.
- Crete is Amazing: Go there. Just go.
This is just a suggestion. Embrace the chaos, the imperfections, and the inevitable moments of pure, unadulterated, human-ness. Have an amazing trip! And send me a postcard.
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Elgoni Apartments: Is This Place Actually Heaven? (Let's Find Out!)
Alright, spill the beans: Is this Elgoni place *really* for adults only? I need *peace* on my holiday.
YES. A resounding, champagne-popping, child-free YES! Honestly, I'm a bit of a grump when it comes to kids on holidays. Don't get me wrong, I love a good grandparent-kiddie moment, but my holiday is precious, and I need quiet time. I'm talking poolside serenity, where the biggest noise is a gentle splash and not a tiny tyrant demanding ice cream *right now*. Elgoni *delivers*. It was like finding a portal to a dimension without sticky fingers and incessant 'Mommy, Daddy' yelps. Bliss. Pure, unadulterated bliss. (Side note: I heard the faintest giggle once... I SWEAR it was a ghost. Or maybe I'd had too much Raki. Either way, it didn't last.)
The pictures look *amazing*. Is it actually as beautiful as it seems? Because online, you know... filters and all that jazz.
Okay, look, I'm a cynical *realist*. I spend most of my time squinting at the screen, trying to figure out if a photo is actually a lie. But Elgoni... the pictures are practically *under*selling it. The location! The view! It was like living in a postcard! I actually gasped when I walked into my apartment and saw the Aegean Sea spread out before me. It seriously takes your breath away. And the colours! The turquoise water, the whitewashed buildings... even the dust looked beautiful! I spent a whole afternoon just staring at the horizon, convinced I was dreaming. (Spoiler alert: still not sure I've woken up.) The only downside? Taking photos that actually *capture* the beauty. Impossible! I probably filled up half my phone with the same bloody sunset, just TRYING to do it justice.
Okay, so the views are good. But what's the apartment *actually* like? I need to be comfortable!
Honestly? Spot on. I stayed in the 'Studio with Terrace' and it was perfect – spacious, clean, well-equipped. Forget poky hotel rooms; this felt like a proper little home. The bed? Heaven! I actually slept through the entire first sunrise, which I *never* do. There was a tiny kitchen which really helped. (I’m not built for the buffet life three times a day). And the terrace? That was the real winner. I spent hours there, sipping coffee, reading, and generally feeling like a goddess. I was a bit worried about the air conditioning, being a sweaty person, but it worked PERFECTLY! And the bathroom was spotless, complete with fluffy towels. The only small issue? The internet dropped out about once a day, but it was nice to switch off and have a proper digital detox. This actually helped me get some writing done.
Food! What about the food situation? I don't want to starve!
Okay, food is *crucial*. And Elgoni is brilliantly placed. There are tavernas galore within walking distance, serving the most divine Greek food. Think fresh seafood, grilled meats, mountains of Greek salad that made me weep with joy... and the local wine... oh, the wine! I swear, they put something special in the water in Crete. I gorged myself. Absolutely no regrets. And, I have to recommend the taverna at the bottom of the hill. The staff were genuinely lovely! One night, I felt a bit rubbish and ordered some simple grilled fish. The waiter, noticing my low mood, insisted on bringing me a complimentary bowl of fresh fruit and giving me some of their homemade liquor. I left feeling much better. (And possibly slightly tipsy.)
Also, there's a small supermarket nearby for stocking up on snacks and essentials if you’re self-catering. Just remember your sunscreen – I may have forgotten mine, and the aftermath was *not* pretty.
How easy is it to get around? I'm not keen on driving on a massive Greek island!
No worries! Elgoni is in a great spot. Renting a car probably is the best option, but there are local buses and taxis. I, being the lazy type, relied on the taxis for my day trips. Easy and cheap! If you're up for a day of exploring, take a taxi to Elafonisi beach! The pink sand and turquoise water…it's seriously a sight to behold! Although, I did witness a near-disaster involving a rogue wave and a very dramatic inflatable flamingo. Good times. (Tip: pack waterproof mascara. You will cry, but it’ll be from pure joy!)
What are your *biggest* recommendations/warnings about Elgoni? Give it to me straight!
Alright, buckle up. Here's the truth, unfiltered:
- Go! Just book it. Seriously, don't hesitate. I wish I'd booked a longer stay!
- Pack sunscreen. Seriously, I learned the hard way. Unless you enjoy resembling a lobster.
- Pace yourself with the Raki. It's delicious, but potent. I may or may not have tried to serenade the local cats at 3 am. (They weren't impressed.)
- Embrace the peace. Switch off your phone (mostly). Read a book. Gaze at the sea. Just *be*.
- Don't expect perfection. There are some minor glitches – the internet might drop out now and then. But its a small price to pay for that view, peace, and Raki.
- Go with an open mind. You may meet some interesting people. You may find yourself doing things you wouldn't normally do (*cough* swimming at midnight *cough*).
- Prepare to be hooked. I'm already planning my return. I'm in serious withdrawal. Elgoni, you have my heart (and my bank account).
I will say the most important thing. The ONLY negative. There was one day the pool was a little too busy! People were enjoying themselves with cocktails, so I wasn’t upset. Just remember to grab a sunbed on the early side, if you really want one.
Okay, okay. Final question: Is it *romantic*? I’m travelling with my partner...
Oh. My. God. Yes. Absolutely, undeniably, heart-flutteringly romantic. The sunsets are ridiculously gorgeous. The sound of the waves at night is magical. And there's just something about the atmosphere, the peace, the beauty... it all adds up to *romance*. We did a sunset picnic on the beach once... andSummerhill Estate: Durban's Most Luxurious Getaway (Unbelievable Views!)
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