Uncover Tenerife's Hidden Gem: Malpaís de Güímar's Volcanic Secrets!

Malpais Trece Tenerife Spain

Uncover Tenerife's Hidden Gem: Malpaís de Güímar's Volcanic Secrets!

Uncover Tenerife's Hidden Gem: Malpaís de Güímar's Volcanic Secrets! - A Review (with a side of chaos)

Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because I just got back from an adventure, a proper volcanic rumble in the heart of Tenerife. And I'm still buzzing. We're talking about the Malpaís de Güímar, a lava field that decided to erupt, cool down, and then tell the world, "Hey, I'm a freaking landscape now!" And let me tell you, it’s AMAZING. But before we dive into those molten memories, let's get this review thing done… the proper way, according to the list. Ugh. So much to cover… here we go!

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Accessibility: Now, this is where things get slightly tricky. The Malpaís itself? It's a volcanic landscape. Think uneven, rocky, and with a distinct lack of perfectly paved paths. Accessibility is a definite challenge. I imagine a wheelchair user might struggle (and honestly, I'm a bit clunky on my own feet sometimes!). The good news? The area adjacent to the park, the visitor's center (if there is one, I’m blanking on the name!), is likely better. But honestly, the real experience is out in that black, alien world. (More on that later…)

Accessibility: Wheelchair accessible: NOT really, unfortunately.

On-site accessible restaurants / lounges: Unsure! I didn’t really notice any specific "accessibility" focused spots. I was too busy being mesmerized by the lava.

Internet & Tech Stuff (because apparently, that's vital these days…):

Internet: Yep, it's a thing in Tenerife.
Internet [LAN]: Probably only in the visitor centre, if at all!
Internet services: Standard stuff, I guess.
Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!: Likely, if you're staying nearby (I wasn’t, I was camping by the volcanoes!).
Wi-Fi in public areas: Probably at the visitor's center or surrounding areas.

Things to Do (Besides Nearly Tripping Over Rocks):

Okay, this is the real meat of it, the why you should go.

Things to do: Walk. Breathe. Gaze. Be humbled by the sheer power of nature. Seriously, it's breathtaking. You could try climbing the smaller cones. You can get amazing photos. And if you're a photographer, you’re in paradise at sunrise and sunset.. The light is insane.
Ways to relax: Uh, wander and contemplate the universe? It's inherently relaxing. It’s so raw, so different. It's a fantastic stress reliever.

Spa, Fitness, and Wellness (Because Apparently, Lava Isn't Enough…):

Body scrub, Body wrap, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Foot bath, Fitness center, Gym/fitness, Massage, Pool with view, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]: I certainly didn’t see any of this near the lava field! Haha!
Body Scrub, Body Wrap: Probably not in the middle of a volcanic landscape. 😂
Massage: You might find one at a resort nearby (but you'd be missing out on the real point of the trip!).

Cleanliness and Safety (Because the Volcano is Probably Safe):

Cleanliness and safety: Ticking all the boxes or trying to.
Anti-viral cleaning products: Let's assume!
Breakfast in room, Breakfast takeaway service, Cashless payment service, Daily disinfection in common areas, Doctor/nurse on call, First aid kit, Hand sanitizer, Hot water linen and laundry washing, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Shared stationery removed, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment: Standard stuff, especially nowadays.
Breakfast in room & take-away service: Probably offered at a nearby hotel - though, honestly, I was too excited about the day's adventure to care about food. Just give me some water!
Room sanitization opt-out available: I really should have kept a better eye on this.

Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (Because Even Adventurers Need Fuel):

Okay, this is where my experience becomes relevant. Forget fancy restaurants with views.

A la carte in restaurant, Alternative meal arrangement, Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Bar, Bottle of water, Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Buffet in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop, Desserts in restaurant, Happy hour, International cuisine in restaurant, Poolside bar, Restaurants, Room service [24-hour], Salad in restaurant, Snack bar, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant: Uh… I didn't really do any of this near the Malpaís. Think more along the lines of a supermarket, and maybe a quick bite.
My Experience with Food: Okay, truth bomb: I brought granola bars and a bottle of water. And that was perfect. The best view you can get is a volcanic one! And the snacks are fine too.

Services and Conveniences (Life's Little Luxuries):

Air conditioning in public area, Audio-visual equipment for special events, Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out: Probably in the main town area.
Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center: A bit further away from the volcanoes.

For the Kids (Bless Their Cotton Socks):

Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal: Again, these are probably in the populated areas. I can't see a dedicated kids' area in a lava field. I can't.
I do not recommend the kids.

Getting Around (After You’re Done with the Lava):

Airport transfer, Bicycle parking, Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging station, Taxi service, Valet parking: Probably offered at hotels.

Available in All Rooms (The Stuff you Expect):

Oh dear lord, here's the exhaustive list of in-room amenities. Let's power through this, shall we?

Additional toilet, Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens.

Okay, whew. That was a marathon. Now, finally, the real part:

My Experience at the Malpaís de Güímar – The Stream of Consciousness Edition:

Okay, so first off, the drive there. You’re heading south, right? And the sun… oh, the sun. It hits those volcanic slopes, and you start getting a feeling – a primal whisper from the earth. Then, you get out of the car, and bam… black! A vast, craggy, incredibly beautiful landscape.

It's unreal. Like Mars, but with more air (and a lot more sunshine). The lava fields are all jagged edges, and every step is a little adventure. You're literally walking on history, on a force of nature that reshaped the world. I saw this tiny little lizard, sunning itself on a rock, completely unfazed. Talk about adapted to its environment!

I spent hours just wandering around, kind of lost in the silence. It was so quiet. Then, the sound of the wind… whispering secrets across the volcanic landscape. It really got me thinking about stuff. Life, the universe, the

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Malpais Trece Tenerife Spain

Okay, buckle up, buttercup, because this isn't your grandma's perfectly-coiffed travel itinerary. This is… Malpais Trece, Tenerife, Unfiltered. Prepare for a glorious, chaotic mess, just like me, and probably you, if you're reading this in the first place.

Malpais Trece: Where My Sanity (Maybe) Went to Die… and Definitely Got a Tan

Day 1: Arrival and the Crushing Realization That “Easy Breezy” is a LIE.

10:00 AM – Arrival at Tenerife South Airport (TFS): Okay, so the flight was… alright. A crying baby, a guy who clearly thought he was a comedian, and the distinct smell of airplane coffee clinging to my nostrils. Classic. Finding the rental car was a nightmare. Seriously, the parking lot felt like a scene from a zombie movie, except the zombies were confused tourists and the brains were… well, me, at that point.
11:00 AM – Rental Car… Mayhem: The car, a tiny, beige sardine can called a Fiat Panda – bless its boxy little heart, didn't exactly scream “conqueror of volcanic landscapes.” The GPS, bless its little digital soul, seemed determined to send me directly into the ocean. Finally, after swearing repeatedly in a language I didn’t even know I spoke, I found my way. Barely.
12:00 PM – Check-in at Casa Rural Las Tricias: Ah, the promise of rustic charm! The reality? Charming, yes. Rustic? More like “spooky-but-in-a-good-way.” The keys were in a hidey-hole, the wifi was about as reliable as my dating life, and the only sound was the incessant chirping of crickets. I loved it already. Honestly, the remoteness was exactly what I needed. A good dose of silence… and maybe a stiff drink.
1:00 PM – Lunch (Or, the "I Ate a Sandwich While Staring at a Volcano" Moment): Found a tiny grocery store in town, armed myself with bread, olives, and local cheese. Ate it while gazing at the imposing Mount Teide in the distance. Yep, still feeling the magic.
2:00 PM to 5:00 PM - The Lost Wanderer: Decided to walk a little to explore the area around my accommodation. It was pretty, sure! But the sun was blazing, and I was sweating like a pig. I got turned around so many times that I started to question how I actually knew which way was "up." So, instead of searching for a trail, I just enjoyed the scenery and took a few pictures.
6:00 PM – Dinner at a Local Restaurant (because I deserve it): Found a little place called "Restaurante La Tasquita de Juan." The food was… chef's kiss. I had papas arrugadas (wrinkled potatoes) with mojo sauce, goat cheese, and a healthy dose of the local wine. Suddenly, the car rental trauma slipped away. The friendly waiter, Jose, was a gem. I think he's probably seen the likes of me a dozen times at least.
8:00 PM – Star Gazing, Sort Of: The night sky in Tenerife is legendary. Clouds, however, are not a myth. Sadly, the clouds were winning this round of "Stargazing vs. Mother Nature." Still, spent some time looking up at the vast canvas. Found a few stars that were still visible, feeling small and overwhelmed… in a good way.

Day 2: Volcanos, Views, and the Near-Death Experience of Trying to Parallel Park.

9:00 AM – Breakfast of Champions… aka Coffee and a Banana: The wifi was still being temperamental, so I gave up on trying to get work done (for now). Just embraced the blissful lack of connection.
10:00 AM – Drive to Teide National Park: Ugh, the drive. I'm not going to lie; it got a bit nerve-wracking when the roads turned to switchbacks! The views, however, were beyond breathtaking. The landscape of Teide, the mountain itself, looked like some sort of alien planet. The first time I saw it, I gasped. Actually gasped.
12:00 PM – Hike to the top of Teide (or, at least, attempt it…): Got my permit (thankfully, because those things are apparently more precious than gold), and my feet started to hurt just thinking of this hike. I went as far as I could. The altitude! The sun! The sheer scale of the damn volcano! I'm not ashamed to admit I only went a little ways. I'm also not one to let a good photo opportunity pass me by.
2:00 PM – Lunch with a View (and a sandwich that survived the hike): I had spent so much time trying to get to the top that I found a place and ate my sandwich.
3:00 PM – Drive of Doom… And a Lesson in Parallel Parking: Back in the sardine can. Heading back to the Casa Rural, which was a mistake. Remember that tiny road I had to use to get to the apartment? Yup. More switchbacks. I was also getting more confident in my driving skills… maybe a bit too confident. When I got back, I found a spot and learned how to parallel park. It took me almost an hour, and a lot of honking and yelling. But it's done. I never want to do it again. Actually, that moment felt really rewarding.
6:00 PM – Dinner at a restaurant in Vilaflor: After finally getting back to my apartment, I took the opportunity to treat myself to a good meal. I ended up in the town of Vilaflor, where I found a restaurant. The food was amazing, and after all the stress of driving, parking, and hiking, I had earned it.
8:00 PM – Evening Relaxation and Reflection: More wine, more cheese, and a notepad. I wrote down my thoughts. Tenerife is challenging, sure, but the good outweighs the bad.

Day 3: Coastal Beauty and the Mystery of the Missing Sunscreen (and My Sanity's Continued Ebb).

9:00 AM – Breakfast in Bed (which, naturally, meant the bed was covered in breadcrumbs).
10:00 AM – Los Gigantes and the Cliffs of Unbelievable-ness: Drove to Los Gigantes, the cliffs that just… rise straight out of the ocean. I sat there for a while, just gawking. The sea was the most perfect shade of blue. The sheer enormity of the cliffs… it was humbling and terrifying, a little bit.
12:00 PM – The Beach with a Twist: On a beach, or Playa, made from volcanic black sand. It was hot! After some time in the sun, I got hungry.
2:00 PM – Lunch at a Chiringuito (Beach Bar): Found a cute little chiringuito (beach bar) where I inhaled a fish sandwich and a cold beer. This is the life, right?
3:00 PM to 5:00 PM – A Lesson in the Power of the Sun - and a Trip to the Local Pharmacy: Okay, so… sunscreen application had been, shall we say, lackluster this trip. I came back looking like a lobster that was also extremely unhappy. After this trip, I went to the pharmacy and bought some Aloe Vera cream.
6:00 PM – Dinner: I went back to the Casa Rural and ate dinner, and took a good look at all the photos I took.

Day 4: The Last Day

9:00 AM - The last breakfast: This was the last meal at the Casa Rural.
10:00 AM - Return of the car: It was time to return the car and start my journey back home.
12:00 PM - Departure: Time to head back home!

Overall Assessment:

Malpais Trece, Tenerife is a wild ride. It’s beautiful, challenging, and sometimes a little bit scary. It pushes you out of your comfort zone. You will probably sweat your way through a hike. Your tan will also fade. But I wouldn't have traded it for anything.

So, go. See the volcanoes. Eat the potatoes. Get lost (metaphorically, and possibly literally). And don't forget the sunscreen. Trust me. You'll thank me later.

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So, What Exactly is Malpaís de Güímar? (And Why Should I Care?)

Okay, deep breaths. Malpaís de Güímar is a... well, it's a mess of solidified lava. Think of it as the angry, fiery leftovers of a volcano's tantrum. Several volcanoes, actually! This whole area on Tenerife's southeastern coast is covered in black, jagged rock, twisted into all sorts of crazy shapes. It's not your typical beach vacation vibe, let's put it that way.

But why care? Because it’s freaking amazing! It's a completely unique landscape. Imagine walking on the surface of another planet – that’s the kind of feeling you get. Plus, it's a haven for rare plants and animals that have adapted to this harsh environment. And, honestly? It just looks cool. Like, REALLY cool. It’s the type of place that just makes you stop and stare and go, "Whoa." (That was my exact reaction, by the way. Multiple times.)

Is it Safe to Wander Around This Lava Field?! I'm Accident-Prone.

Um, well... safety is relative. Let's just say, you *need* to be careful. Those rocks are sharp. Like, razor-sharp. I, being the aforementioned accident-prone individual, managed to trip over thin air (I swear, the air *moved*) and scrape my shin. Twice. Wear good hiking shoes with ankle support, and keep your eyes peeled. There are some marked trails, which are the safest bet. If you're going rogue, watch your step! And leave the flip-flops at home. Seriously. Please. For me.

Okay, the upside: there are also some relatively easy paths. You're not going to be scaling Mount Everest here. Just... be aware of your surroundings. And maybe bring a friend to help you if you stumble. Or just someone to laugh at your misfortune. Up to you.

Can I Actually See Volcanoes There?

You betcha! While they're not actively erupting (thankfully!), the cones – the remnants of the volcanoes themselves – are still very visible. Some of them are pretty well-preserved, and you can hike up a few of them for amazing views of the coast.

I went up one. It was a bit of a scramble, honestly. The path wasn’t exactly professionally maintained – more like, "follow these vaguely defined rocks.” But wow.The view from the top? Absolutely breathtaking. The black lava snaking its way to the sea, the blue of the ocean stretching forever, and the vastness of the sky... I felt tiny and insignificant, in the best possible way. It's a humbling experience. I'm not good with heights, a bit clumsy. But for that view? Totally worth the slightly panicky moments.

What are the Best Things to See There (Besides More Lava)?

Okay, besides the obvious – the spectacular lava flows, volcanic cones, and epic coastal views – here are a few highlights:

The Botanical Garden: Seriously, how can anything grow here? But it does! It showcases the unique flora of the area. I'm no botanist, but even I was impressed. It's a real testament to nature's resilience.
The Cueva de las Tizaderas: Sea caves carved by waves, a bit gnarly to get to, but worth it. The ocean whispers through them with an eerie sound.
The coastline: The meeting of the fierce ocean and the solid rock, its a thing of beauty.

And the most important thing? Take your time. Don't rush. Just wander and *feel* the place. That's the best secret the place holds.

Any Hidden Gems or Secret Spots You Can Spill the Beans On?

Hmm… I'm a bit protective of my favorite spots, to be honest! But, okay, I’ll give you a few whispers:

The thing is, the real "hidden gem" is the feeling you get. It’s not about ticking off a list; it’s about experiencing something truly unique. I spent almost an hour watching the sunset paint the lava fields in shades of orange and purple. It was pure magic. Find your own magic spot. That's the best advice I can give.

Okay, Let's Get Real: Where Should I Eat After All That Hiking?

Excellent question! After all the lava-dodging and cone-climbing, you'll be ravenous. Thankfully, there are some lovely little restaurants in Güímar or the nearby seaside towns. I had a fantastic lunch at this place near the coast the name of which escapes me, but it served fresh seafood, papas arrugadas (wrinkled potatoes, a Canarian staple), and some killer mojo sauce.

Basically, keep an eye out for anything that screams "local". Avoid any place that looks overly touristy. Ask around, if you can. Find a place filled with locals.

What About This "Black Sand Beach" Thing? Is it actually cool?

Oh, the black sand beaches. Absolutely. They're not exactly the soft, white sand you find in the Caribbean. More like, coarse, volcanic sand. But that's part of the charm! It’s pitch black, it reflects the heat like crazy, but it's also undeniably cool.

I spent an entire afternoon there (after my shin healed, of course) just lounging around. I almost lost my sunglasses in the ocean! The sound of the waves against the black sand is hypnotic. It’s a very different beach experience, but a memorable one. Bring a towel and prepared for a bit of a gritty clean up.

Is it just a "walk in the park" or do I need a guide? (And do I need one?)

Okay, "walk in the park" is a massive exaggeration. It's more like a "careful amble over slightly treacherous terrain". If you’re a seasoned hiker, comfortable with navigating uneven ground, and confident in your ability to not fall over your own feet (like me, for the record!), then you can probably get by without a guide. There are some trails that are relatively well-marked that would be fine.

However, if you’re unsure, a guide is a great idea. You'll learn a lot about the history and geology, and theyKolkata's Hidden Gem: Unbelievable Treebo Green View Hotel!